lvnikita's Journal

Here's the frustration.... Mood

Saturday, July 5, 2008

I actually tested yesterday.... twice. I tested first thing in the morning and there was a very faint line... very faint. I actually thought my mind was playing a horrible cruel trick on me. So I waited for about three hours and took another one....figured I couldn't fool myself twice. It, too, had a faint line indicating pregnancy. Today I wanted to see if it was darker so I took another test. It was the same brand, different box. No line, nothing. I don't know. In my head I know I am not pregnant but I guess I should have never tested before when I said I was going to. I won't do that again...

The hard part is I know that next month is my last try for a few months. It will also be my last try with this donor. If it doesn't work I will need to find a new one. That would make me sad.

Anyway, I told my roommate she needs to be out ASAP! She was like, it's only been two days. I told her the latest she could be here was Aug. 1 but she needed to work really hard to get out sooner! I should have done this a long time ago. Oh well, lesson learned. I don't think I will get a roommate anytime soon, and I will never get one that has pets. No way on that one.

Anyway, I am off to find my life. To try to figure out what I want to do. I am slowly but surely getting rid of the things that stress me out... I got a new job, I got rid of the roommate. I need to figure out if there is anything else I need or need to do. I've got friends, acupuncture, a plan for next month, an appt with a psychologist, and I think I may make a massage appt.

Side note, my closet door is open and I can see my cat in there rubbing herself all over my shoes... what a freak. One time she got my flip flop stuck on her head, it was hilarious. Now I keep those in the garage... LOL...

Hug lvnikita

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Comments

Well, you know that each test, even if the same brand, can have different levels of sensitivity. I'd take those faint positives as real positives!! If you still don't believe it, you can always try again in a few days, then you'll get your positive for sure :) I'm going to save the congrats for now, just until we get the news in a few days :) Besides, you've got your beta on Monday so I'm sure you'll know by then :)
Unfortunately, I tested today as well even though I swore up and down I wouldn't. Hmph. BFN. I used an ept and not the "early readers" so maybe there's still hope. I remember when I got my first positive, it was 4 days after my missed period and even then it was a very faint positive. Maybe there's still some hope for me, but I'm not counting on it. Oh well, guess we'll have to try again :(

kokomokers
I agree a faint line may be a good sign. Try not to lose hope yet. I still have my fingers crossed for you.

Jen2279
haven't been here for some time. sorry for not reading all your jurnals. seems like things are chenging good. i'm happy you told her to move out! you'll feel the freedom at home! keep the positive and lot's of HUGS from me.

ElizVin
Ok...even a faint line is a positive, so I agree with kokomokers that maybe the other brand you used wasn't as sensitive. I'm going to keep crossing my fingers and saying prayers that your beta test on Monday gives you the answers you need!!!

ErinSue
I agree with kokomokers too, maybe there is still hope, your beta will be the final answer.
I am so glad you are getting rid of the stressers in your life, they aren't good for any of us, and to know what they are and get rid of them is such a great idea.
Let us know how the beta goes.

4EVERinLOVE
I would not worry to much about the pregnancy test. I tested after they told me I was pregnant (because I really did not believe them) and the test came out negative. IT was not until the US that I actually felt pregnant. Wait until Monday!
As for the rest...Wow! you are certainly going to go through some changes in the next few weeks. Remember to relax and enjoy yourself.

duane
oh, i hate those faint lines, you neve know what to make of them! thats a bummer, for sure, and im so sorry you had your hopes up. ill still be praying for a miracle on your beta on monday, and if you dont get it, i know you will still be strong, and try again. oh, i wish so bad that i could help you get pregnant! if it wasnt already "occupied" id let you borrow my uterus! im glad your roomie is finally on her way out, too. i think having some time to yourself will help you feel better too.

pattijo
to me, a line is a line!! Don't give up hope till AF arrives. I am wishing for you..hugs!!!

babydream
I'm so sorry that your sort of stuck in limbo with these lines right now. Hopefully you will know one way or the other soon. At least that way there is no more limbo. Telling your roommate that she needs to be out by 8/1 sounds like a good idea. She sounds like a bit of a procrastinator so a date to be out by might be good for her to have.

It sounds great that your also looking at all the aspects of your life right now and making decisions. I say take your time will each decision and good luck finding the right path for you!!

HopefullySomeDay
Whenever I have been pregnant the line has been very faint. Sometimes I still test negative, when i am actually pregnant. I don't know how that works, but that is what has happened in the past for me.

Don't give up hope just yet, you'll know for sure on Monday anyway. My fingers are crossed for you Hun and i so hope you get the positive you are wanting. I wanted to give you a hug, but every time i try an error message is coming up, so here it is - HUG, HUG, HUG!!

want2bamummy
I wouldn't be so sure you're not pregnant! They say there's such things as false negatives, but never false positives. Definitely see what happens tomorrow and keep us updated! I'll be praying for you!

Mel9999
Sorry it's been so long...I am 13dpiui and need to test tommorrow!!!The stress is driving me crazy!!
I tested this morning and it was BFN. Swore I wouldn't test early and I did it..Hold on to the faint hope..I'll be praying for you
Way to go on cleaning house!!!All negativeness out the window...make room for the good "stuff" : )

draesalvatore
Best wishes on everything!! I too keep taking tests early when I tell myself I'm not gonna. Every other week i find myself taking one "just in case". haha I guess us women are just curious and impatient by nature. I wouldn't give up hope just yet either if there was a faint line on 2 tests, definately means something. my prayers are with you!!! Best of luck, you deserve this!!!

piecesofme41808
I had a faint line the first time I got PG, and now my little man is 6! Don't give up!

pechevarria
Faint lines are always a good sign. Even if the next is negative. Each test has a different level of sensitivity so keep your chin up. Sounds like you have a good plan for yourself. You're going to do great!

denisehigg
as sad as i am for you it still makes me happy you have your shit together. i hope you can clean up and clean out and have that baby already. i love you.

MEGNEEDSABABY
I always only get a faint line with every brand I use. So dont lose hope just yet. Wait till you get your beta back. Good luck and hugs.

sweetangel
I've read that a faint line is still a line. I can't wait to hear what the beta is and I am hoping it is a BFP! Please keep us posted.

I think you will find some much needed relaxation without having to worry about the roommate. They can take alot out of ya. I've been there. I would take some alone time if I were you.

As for the cat and the shoes, don't feel alone. My cat loves to rub all over my shoes, and my DH shoes. Eww. Never have been able to figure it out. But I would probably pee on myself if she got one stuck on her head.

connersmommy