Michelletj's Journal

I think I am going to keep my smiley face orange this morning.  Not because of how I feel by myself, though it's not great (but better than yesterday), but because so many of my friends are having such a rough time right now.  It seems that everyone has had more problems over and on top of the normal, everyday SHIT lately.  Because so many of my friends who are in trouble are also sensitive about their privacy, I won't name names, but if I thought it would help, I would list them all here and ask everyone to get together and just give everyone a hug.  Huh.  I suddenly feel like singing that old song from the Coke commercials...I'd like to teach the world to sing....I'm not sure singing and hugging can cure the world, but I wish it could.  I read your journals, and I hear so many talk about needing a place to hide for a while to get yourself healthy and get your life back together.  I want so much say, "I've got a guest room!!!  Come here!!!"  But I know that even if one of my friends in trouble did come here, it would just be running away from the problems because I'm so dang far away from everyone...even people here on DS.  I could offer a nice retreat, but I would not be able to really help anyone get back on their feet.  Unless they wanted to move here permanently, and Iowa winters are not good for Fibromites, so I would never suggest that.  I'm just feeling helpless to help you guys, I guess.  I'm a bit of a fixer, too...and I hate that I can't fix things for everyone.  Hey...I can't even fix myself.  Ugh.

I've been thinking about hiring someone to come in when Hubby is away and help me with stuff.  Hubby brought home a business card from this woman who will pet-sit, run errands, etc.  Basically she's like a personal assistant who also does hair, pets, and who knows what else.  I went to her web site, I filled out the form, and it's sitting here waiting to be submitted.  But I feel so silly asking for help.  And wouldn't I rather just hire the girl next door?  Not that she'd want the job, though, I think.  She's a busy girl with sports and friends and school and such.  But I keep saying I need help, so why don't I just submit the stupid form and pay this woman $20/hour plus mileage to come to my house and help me?  It's what she does.  So why can't I just hire her and be done with it?  Why do I keep insisting that I can do it all if I just put my mind to it, when I apparently don't want to put my mind to it or it would be done by now?  I think this is turning into the definition of insanity....I keep doing things the same way in the hopes that eventually I'll get a different result.  *sigh*

Well, at least it's Friday.  Tomorrow I get to sleep in.  And pay bills.  And balance the checkbook.  And go grocery shopping.  On the bright side, a friend of mine is coming over and we're having a girly night!  I'm going to make zucchini parmesan, and we're going to hang out in the hot tub, and we're going to watch Britcoms, and we're going to be girly!  It's been forever since we did this, so I'm really looking forward to it!!

Just looked at the time and man, am I late.  (As usual.)  Happy Friday!