aprilrenae's Journal

Well I just got home from the place where Daniel is playing music tonight. It is very family friendly, but my kids got very tired, and I am tired from chasing them, mainly Jack, around. Daniel won't be home for another hour or two. It was fun, but I am tired. I ended up working today. The finish we are doing involves spackling joint compound onto walls and it is tough on the hands. Everyone else who does it says their hands are sore afterwards and they do not have RA. So, my hands are pretty sore. I worked 3 days this week instead of the 2 I am supposed to. There is a lot of work right now and all of it just has to be finished right away, like always. I'm okay with it though because I would like to make some extra $ for our anniversary trip. My friend Stephanie has agreed to keep Jack for that weekend. She doesn't have any kids yet, and she loves to play Mommy for awhile. So we are set to go, I am just not sure which weekend will work out for her.

I am still thinking about getting on antibiotics. I would like to have a supplement for the LDN. I am satisfied with the results I am getting, as long as I don't push myself to hard, but I am prone to over do it. I tore down scaffolding today, which was stupid and I moved some very heavy beams, again stupid. I guess I've always considered myself to be strong and it is hard not to be.

Tuesday was the 22nd. 18 years ago on that day, my little sister died. She was 9 months old. It is always a day of reflection for me, but this year was different. For some reason, I really allowed myself to relive the events of that night and to remember all the details. I was amazed how much I remember and how deeply saddened I was by the memories I had suppressed. She was a very beautiful, healthy baby. One day she was fine and the next she had contracted a virus called CIV, I think. I've never researched it and I think I might now. Apparantly, if she had been only a few months older, she would have been okay. My mother held her in her arms as she died and it was the most horrible thing that has ever happened in my life. I think that finally, 18 years later, I have been able to move on a little in the past few years, but it was such a catastrophic event, I really can't put into words what that did to our family. I got to spend this past Tuesday working with my Mom and I am glad, just glad that I was with her.

Hope all of you are well! April