Jaymom11's Journal

Journal Entry for July 23, 2008 Mood

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

For some reason I am very irritable today and I was last night.. I think that if I still got my period, this would be the week. I just cannot stand people and stupid things right now. My tolerance is way way down..

I am having strange feelings about Mark again.. I think it has to do with me totally. I am so afraid of being hurt that I don't know if I can open up again. So, I have decided to just have it be what it is going to be.. Maybe a nice week of some hot sex, maybe a little more, who knows, but I am done worring about what he is thinking and what I am going to be to him.. He said that he likes me and wants me to visit for a few days with my kids and is making plans to show us around the base and all, so there.. He likes me. Why do I have to over analyze the whole thing and everything that he says, or doesn't say.. I hate that I do that.. What does everyone else do?

Last night we talked for about 30 minutes and then work called him and he said he would call me back but did not. So, something must have happened that he had to take care of.. But part of me is like, well he should of at least called me back to let me know, but why?? I am not his girlfriend, I am really nothing, so why do I care??? I am driving myself crazy with all of this.. I need to stop..

Today we are finishing packing and Hunter has a physical for football. My mom is taking us out for supper and then I am going to clean the house today and tommorow. Because when I get home, I want the house to be clean..

I am a bit nervous about driving 1000 miles too. I hope that I don't miss a turn or something.. Oh well, I will figure it out I guess.. Today has to get better. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed..

My cat just killed a bird.. Seriously, I was sitting here and she caught a bird from outside and I just had to pry it out of her mouth.. Ok, maybe today is not going to get better.. I wish it was Friday right now..

I will shower and go to the Y and workout and hopefully feel better..

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Comments

It's not easy to open up again. I think that you had a right to be upset that he didn't call you and let you know. Chances are he was just too busy. I don't care what you guys call each other, f-buddies or sweethearts, you do have a boundary that's healthy, and you feel that it was crossed because he didn't give you a courtesy call. That's fine, I think. The bigger part is what you want to do about it. If little things like that start adding up- then I'd worry about it. Maybe he should get a free pass on the first one :) He's probably feeling his way along too.

gemiwing