abandon ship
August 19, 2008 7:46pm
It's becoming more and more aparent to me that i am but an ugly blemish on this beautiful earth.
I'd like to die, I'd like to run …
LyricalEscapist’s Profile
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LyricalEscapist
is feeling Bad
About Me
I'm a student at an arts boarding high school, a creative writer. I love art in all its forms, from poetry to painting to movies. I live on music. Stress is no small factor in my life, neither are drawn out states of depression and escapism. I'm ironicly a realist, but I wish I wasn't sometimes;I don't see all that much good in humanity or myself for that matter.Guilt and hopelessness and apathy and longing play pingpong all the time.My life is a movie, or a serries of music videos. I am the writer, the reader, and the liver.I like being detached, on the outside sometimes, even the dark looks beautiful, its like seeing how pretty the snow is without feeling the cold. But I just want simple happiness, a love not less and not more than my own.
Interests
Writing Sketching Reading Music (especialy lyrical) Movies abnormal and social psychology philosophy politics musicals/theatre dance
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Recent Activity
August 27
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LyricalEscapist and Shannon86 are now friends 12:35pm
August 19
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LyricalEscapist wrote a journal entry: abandon ship 7:46pm
It's becoming more and more aparent to me that i am but an ugly blemish on this beautiful earth.…
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LyricalEscapist changed their mood to Bad 7:45pm
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Journal
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Journal Entry for July 6, 2008
July 6, 2008 11:23pm
Today I messed up, there's this little bit of busy work I'm supposed to do to finish up a huge project I've been working on, and I spent …
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g-d, no
June 5, 2008 12:14am
I can't take the SAT saturday, i just can't. I can't do this. I don't want to care, I didn't care, I said this is just a bloody …
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breathless
May 14, 2008 9:35pm
I had a panic attack today, it started when I was talking one on one with my teacher and started crying. He was telling me how I haven't been the …
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Hugbook
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Flower
Just because....
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My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can. Cary Grant
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thanks
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Aww....thank you (for the pic comment) that made my day. lol
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One day we are going to beat this thing and finally get a chance to retake our lives. You know you have my support.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressionfiguratively speaking, I have a papercut but the pain sinks so deep and expands so out of proportion that my own self forces open a gashing wound where there was once an itchy sliver of discontent. Then I'm stuck living with it, trying to press it forcefully so the bleeding will stop, and if I'm lucky i'm left only with a bruise. The bruises have a way of showing up again, and I feel melodramatic describing it, but I guess that's the point of the whole thing, I see things in that sort of light.
Treatments
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- It hasn't worked in the past, I'm giving it another try.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- somewhat damaging at the same time. Guilt plays into it, and misunderstandings.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I think a lot, too much, in metephores and analyses. I'm introspective. Now I'm just trying to write everything I think down, it's working well thus far.
Close Depression - Teen
I feel like I'm clawing at water, gasping for air, taking it in in gulps, going back down. It's something I've been dealing with all my life, it's physical and emotional. Sometimes I can hardly will myself to move at all, and anxiety and stress push me into that place. I’m always tired. I get mood shifts suddenly, and inappropriately, like being sad at a happy occasion. It's not fair to those who love me. Guilt is no absence.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- sketching mostly, it helps if what I'm feeling can't come out through words
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- not working so far but I'll be patient
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- never really worked for me, but I'll give it another try.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I often think in metaphor and etc. so it's good to write it out, or even when it's blander language, it releases something.
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Snapshot
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