chard's Journal

Today my son had a DR's appointment, had to get all the kids ready and on the bus. Well they changed all the buses around down town and I got off at the wrong stop. Walked to the right one and just missed our bus, so decided to go home and reschedual the appointment cause I would have been 30min late. Got back to the bus to bring us home had to wait for a bit. Well just as I got on the bus and it started to go I seen my x( not legally yet LOL) and his girl friend. Well it all makes sense now. He is not picking someone over me. He knows I won't except a life of drugs ,jail and an unstable home for my children. So instead of going back to rehab and getting healthy and being a good dad he found someone on his level. She has a child and does not have custody. In the past 2 weeks he got his car taken by the cops cause he had no insurance, lost his licence cause of it to, has lost his job that he has only had for 2 months, and has went to jail who knows what else. And he certainly is not a very good boyfriend to he cause he's callin me at 4 in the morning when she's out of town asking to come over and cuddle,  asking me if he can talk about us,  even when he came to see the kids a few weeks ago trying to touch me and stuff telling me I'm better then her.  Well I seen her today and yep I take much better care of myself and I have to take care of 4 children. Well I never gave into any of the stuff that he tried cause I have more respect for myself to let him treat me like that thank god.

I feel realy good right now. For like a brief moment my heart jumped  when I seen them, but then I thought about all this stuff and I know that it's ok. If he wants to live his life like trash good luck to him. I'll be able to be proud that I am and always will be here for my kids and do the best I can for them. But thank god the bus came when it did , my kids do not need to she that crap, especially after he tries to be "friendly" with me in front of our kids a few weeks ago. It would confuse the hell out of them.