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  Flower

  From FYYFF September 22

  xxxO

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  Flower

  From FYYFF August 23

  I couldnt feel the love in your "thanks!" xxxO

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  Hug

  From FYYFF August 14

  Im here for u buttsniff, love ya kc

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  Hug

  From Vapor August 9

  Things just kept getting worse and worse. Once I accepted that I was alone, knowing that, even though it hurt, it really wasn’t anyone else’s problem, I had to figure out how I was best going to handle things on my own without going insane. So, at the end of November, while Mom was still alive, I told my pastor (by email, because I made up my mind and didn’t want the anxiety of a big discussion) that I wasn’t coming back to church. I never expected what came next. A rash of emails spewing all kinds of hurtful venom out at me. Accused me of criticizing everyone in my family and told me he was avoiding me because of that. He didn’t want my family members equating “pastor” with being “humiliated”. I know that was a lie. I still checked with my family to make sure they didn’t feel I had been criticizing them in any way, but I knew it was a lie. It hurt so much. I felt even more alone and now abandoned. I wondered why he didn’t come to me in love if he felt I wasn’t treating my family right, instead of abandoning me and only sharing this with me when he was angry. There were many others false accusations he made. I am still somewhat in shock at his behavior. Still, I left it alone for the time being. It was too much for me to handle. Now, my only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner. I had the best month with my mother. I was so much more relaxed. Of course, she died the day after Christmas, a month after I left church. My church family still wasn’t there for me. My pastor hadn’t even mentioned my mother’s death from the pulpit, like he did for so many others, even though my mother had been there many, many times. Flowers were sent from people as distant as my brothers’ and aunts’ employers. Not only that, my one aunt’s boss and his wife even drove 2 hours to attend the funeral and they didn’t even know my mother from Adam. No flowers, no acknowledgements, nothing from the church family. This is this is the first time in 30 years that I’ve not been going to church. I’ve been in so much pain over this that I don’t feel I’ve even been able to process the grief of losing my mother.

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  I’m With You

  From Lacks August 5

  ((((Stacey)))) Stay encouraged my friend!! :)

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