missalicia1980's Journal

I realize that I have been MIA for a little over a week now. There has been so much going on with the family life, that I've been a little preoccupied. Sorry to all of my girls here on DS. I have not forgotten about you! I love all of you!

My grandma is still in the hospital. I have gone to see her a couple of times, as well as doing some clothes shopping for her so she can feel a bit more comfortable. I bought her some shirts, a couple of pairs of pants, a nightgown, and a robe. I also gave her a pair of my slippers and brought her a bunch of flowers to try and cheer her up. I know she is not happy where she is right now. She really wants to go back home - but she can't. Her house is a complete disaster...floors caving in, walls crumbling, filth, rats... I just can't believe that she used to "live" like that. But nobody knew just how bad it really was, because she would never let anybody into her house.

This has been extremely hard on my family, especially my mom. I have been so strong for her, even though it kills me inside. I went with my mom on Wednesday to check out a nursing home that is about 10 minutes from my apartment and from my mom's house, and it is beautiful. I know that's a strange thing to say about a nursing home, but it really is! It does not feel like a nursing home, and it doesn't have that nursing home smell. It is designed like a neighborhood, with the units having street names, and there is a cafe for the families to get coffee and snacks that looks like a corner store.

She will have to be in the secured unit, so we will get a code to be able to enter the locked doors. She can have 24-hour visitation, we can paint her room any color she wants, we can bring furniture for her...hell, I'd like to go there when get older! And we can even bring her beagle to come and visit her whenever we want. She can go outside to the courtyard, which is also secured, so she won't feel trapped. They do daily activities and keep the seniors active there. It's almost like assisted living.

*** So, I just got some really good news just a few minutes ago...my grandma has been accepted to that nursing home! I know that she won't ever be truly happy because she won't be going back home, but these people will be able to take care of her. She will be transferred on Monday afternoon! ***

Aside from all of this, my doctor's appointment went really well with the Cleveland Clinic. The doctor was really kind and understanding. I did not hide anything from him, and he said he knew that I have endo. Although, he is afraid that the endo has spread into my uterus, which is not such good news. Since I have educated myself over the years, I was able to follow everything he was saying - especially when he brought up using Lupron Depo - which I told him I completely refuse. I told him that I will not use it because of all of the side effects. And he was okay with it. So he did give me Loestrin24 to stop the bleeding, which has done nothing but make me nauseous and in a lot more pain. And I'm still spotting. He wants me to take it for 3 months - if I can even stand it for that long - then he said if I continue to have problems, he wants to do another laparoscopy. Which, him and I both know, I will continue having problems.

I will be going in on Wednesday for an ultrasound. He wants to see if the Aldactone I've been taking for PCOS is doing anything for me, as well as possibly seeing what else is going on there.

That's it for now. I hope everyone has a great weekend!