charley17's Journal

I have lost the one person I have ever truly loved. My fiance has got feelings for someone else and I feel heartbroken. Now he needs time to find out what his feeling for the other girl mean. I'm so scared because it feels like I have lost him already. The longer this goes on I know that we wont be getting back together. I feel so lost and it hurts so much. All I want is to tell him how much I love and need him but it no longer feels like I can. I keep crying and it's making me feel ill. I really want him to choose me but somehow I just can't see it happening. When he asked me to marry him it made me feel so happy but now I just think he needs to know what his feelings for her are yet whether they are lust,fancy or anything but love i'm still gonna lose him. Everything will be lost because of something that isn't love. I feel so angry that he can do this to me. He doesn't even understand who bad this is making me feel. I'm tempted just to go out and get pissed or move on and forget about him altogether,but I really do love him so however all this turns out I'm gonna be the one that's left crying and very hurt. I wish he would ring me up and say "It's you I want" but deep down I know he isn't going to say that. I just hope that she is worth everything that he is giving up.