michellerobin's Journal

feeling better, than the past couple of days.... it's getting closer to that hump..... which

feels scarey, and strange.... but honestly, it is LONELY!!!!

I still want to cry... which I know it is normal... but honestly, I want to hold him,

and hug him, and tell him, how much i love him... which I knew he did love me.

I  realized on thursday nite... which I forgot to mention...  after I  paid for the

new refridge, I stopped over to the liquor store, to pick up ice..... and as

i was there  paying for the ice, the cashier was sweet... out of the blue...

words came out of my mouth, and I said... I bet this was the  place

where he picked up his bottle... she didn't react to me.... but I don't know why

those word came out in me.... i guess it was anger....

well, the refridge arrived yesterday... it's done.... the food is back...

i had to go grocery shopping this morning... I  needed milk badly... because, when

i was checking the milk i had yesterday... I wasn't going to trust it.... and thank god, it

was only a 1/2 a gallon, with the price of milk  $2.55.... i spilled it out...

can't afford to get sick...

 I did some shopping today..... and feeling better about things...

stopped off at the cementary today.... and told my husband, that he is sooo lucky

he isn't here... with how bad the economy is.... and the mess he left me...

and if he was still working for the county... he would of been getting a cut..... and then

the fires around here.... but then I did tell him, how badly i miss him.... and it isn't

fair.....  i went over to his mom.... and told her, how bad i miss  her too... and especially

her son.... can't beleive, she has been gone,  3 years.... 

it feels sooo strange..... i'm at that half way hump..... trying to move on.... which I have

done pretty well...  but lonely.... and miss the loving....

but  as my mom says.... the living must go on living... and life must go on...

i'm young.... and i do have a lot to offer....  and that is love and fun.