Journal Entry for December 28, 2007
December 28, 2007 1:58pm
I haven't written in so long, my life has spiraled out of control. I've been in the hospital recently for 3 wks. I'm getting …
cono’s Profile
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cono
is feeling Horrible
About Me
narsasistic, vengeful, hateful, bitter, sarcastic, I know on the outside, people think I'm the sweetest, hard-working, giving persons, loves everybody, but inside, I hate myself and have found that there are very few people that I want to be friends with. Most people to me, are just like me and I hate myself.
Interests
Law and Order/shopping/horror movies/but mostly spending time with my three girls.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for October 26, 2007
October 26, 2007 1:23pm
I think I am getting better everyday. I do think the lithium dosage my new doc is giving me may be too much. I guess I should verify …
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Journal Entry for October 24, 2007
October 24, 2007 5:32pm
I haven't written in so long. So much has happened. My new doctor is screwing me up with my meds. I've been manic for about …
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Journal Entry for June 18, 2007
June 18, 2007 9:25am
Thanks for the support. I am very depressed today for some reason. Problaly because I've gotten sick again. I don't know …
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Journal Entry for June 4, 2007
June 4, 2007 8:58am
I'm not sure how I feel. I've got a new doctor, new medicine (hasn't had time to kick in), but I'm nausiated all the time, I …
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Hugbook
Hug
hey there, thanks for your message on my question about the body memories, i would liek to chat but at the moment my stupid computor is soooo slow it takes about 5mins to open a page, so when I have time i'll send you a message. Keep your head up and hopefully chat soon.
Hug
Just a hug...it seems we had very similar cruel fathers
Hug
"A smile costs nothing, but gives much- It takes but a moment, but the memory of it usually lasts forever. None are so rich that can get along without it- And none are so poor but that can be made rich by it. It enriches those who receive, without making poor those who give- It creates sunshine in the home, Fosters good will in business, And is the best antidote for trouble- And yet it cannot be begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is of no value Unless it is given away. Some people are too busy to give you a smile- Give them one of yours- For the good Lord knows that no one needs a smile so badly As he or she who has no more smiles left to give." ~Author Unknown
Prayer
When life’s trials steal your joy And memories hard surround your heart When pain ova takes and settles in your soul It’s heaven alone can make you whole. i hope u feel better soon my friend heres a hugg to hold onto until then!
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Hug
thought i would stop by with this hug to let you know that you are luvd! ---karen
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar/anxiety disorder/incest survivor/sexual abuse from family friend. Tend to rely on alcohol for comfort. Taking: lithium 1200mg daily, Effexor 150mg daily, Sereuquel 300mg night, Zyprexa 10mg at night.
Treatments
- Lithium Working / Worked
- seems to work fine with the combination of other drugs
- Seroquel Working / Worked
- works great
- Zyprexa Working / Worked
- works great, but has side effect of excessive weight gain, which I have
- Effexor Working / Worked
- works great
- Ativan Working / Worked
- take ocassionally for stress
Close Sexual Abuse
I was sexually and physically abuse as a child from age 3 to 14. I don't talk about it, no one wants to hear disturbing stuff like that. I can hardly think about it without getting sick. I have 3 girls of my own, sometimes I really hate men. I think I'm doing okay for a while, years and then something triggers a memory, God I hate that. I feel God is the only way I will get through this forever. I am also bipolar and have anxiety attacks. They're alot of fun.
Treatments
- Lithium Working / Worked
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
Both parents were abusive growing up, but my father was the worse. He would torture me and my sister by slapping us in the face and then telling us to keep our hands down by our sides, (when you know another blow is coming, it's hard to not protect your face) then he would slap you again and again. I saw him pick my sister up off the floor and throw her up on the table. When I was 4, he was drunk and wanted me to take some nyquel(think that's how you spell it) and because I wouldn't, he hit me so many times that I blacked out.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Not Working
- did not work
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
A whole lists of problems that are surely the cause for my IBS. Stress mostly and poor diet. I've tried a few things, nothing works.
Treatments
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
bipolar,smoker,anorexic,child abuse,sexual abuse,blah, blah. I smoke for my nerves.
Treatments
- Chantix Considering
- tried for a month, worked, but I didn't refill it so I started back up.
Open Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaI've been a/b since age 14 and now I'm 38 and on Zyprexa which is ruining my life.
Treatments
- Paxil Not Working
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Zoloft Not Working
- Zyprexa Working / Worked
- I want to lose 20 pds
Open Anger Management
I have fits of rage for no reason. I know I have an anger control problem, my father did and he beat the hell out of me when he was mad. He still looks like he could kill me sometimes.
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Snapshot
cono hasn’t been active on the site in a while. Why not give cono a hug?
