retropig's Journal

OMG... my baby is going to school next week.  OMG... I am going to be here, by myself, all day.  You know, i have adjusted to being home and not driving and all, but I don't know how I am going to do it without her.  She has allowed me to find meaning when I thought I had none left.   Now what.  I am soo afraid that I will have to go through another bout of depression.  Why would I make any effort to get up and do anything with myself if I have NO ONE here unitl 2:30 in the afternoon.  I know me.  Those are depression triggering thoughts and actions.  (Or lack thereof.)  Yep.. I know self-awareness is half the battle, but sometimes even when you know you are spiraling, you have a hard time making it stop.  I've got to find something between now and Monday to fill my head and busy my hands.

Maybe I'll make more lemonaide.....

Shall we try this again???.  I was going to do a video journal because I thought that would be easier, but I can't seem to get that to work, so I will try to type it without messin it up.

July.... Jazzy received 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns on her legs when a firework fell over and a piece of it shot at and got tangled in the dress she was wearing.  She had to kept pretty out of it the first few days, but she is doing better now.  She still needs treatments a few times a day, but hopefully, the scaring won't be too bad. 

Then, we take a trip to my sister's house in TN for a few weeks.  We were there less than a week when I called Hubby up around 10:30 at night in tears to come get us.   He got on his white stallion and was on the road by 110:30.  He got there the next morning and we started back to SC.  We decided to stop in Maggie Valley and spend the weekend.  It was nice.  We took Jazzy to Santa Land (In July).  and just kinda spent time together.  I really needed it. 

Last week, I took Jasmine in for a recheck on her legs and she had to get 2 shots for school.  She is all ready now.  I took her down the other day and got her registered.  She will be running the place in no time....lol.

I survived it all... smoke-free.  I admit, I tried to smoke, but two drags and my lungs wanted to know what I thought I was doing.  That was enough to remind me that I quit for a reason.  I was kinda nice to be reminded.  I'm so glad it was awful.  I think done is done.  Now, when I think about a cigarette.  I think about having had the opportunity and how much it sucked.  It just REALLY wasn't worth it.  So, I am 175 days smoke-free and looking forward to my 6 months anniversary coming up really soon. 

I have an appt coming up early next month at the seizure clinic in Chas. at MUSC.  I had a bunch last month.   Not so many this month, but ALOT of headaches this month.  Almost daily.  That is suppose to be what the topamax is for but it aint working so well right now.

Anyhow, missed you guys... glad to be back....

Love & Lemonaide

I have typed this journal entry twice and made the same mistake both times that caused the darn thing to delete.  I will not type it again.  I will, however, promise to so do at a later time when I am not frustrated.

Love & Lemonaide