Cares39's Journal

It's still hard for me and it's been 3 years.  Losing my brother suddenly at the age of 33.  We were close as kids and lived together during our 20s after my first divorce.  He lived a lot faster than I but not too stupid.

We would wash cars, hang out, party, fish (I don't know why but we fished), listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd.  Free Bird was one of his favorite songs.  Ironic now, because everytime I hear it, I have to fight the tears.  Who cries over Free Bird?  Well, ok I know some of you do, but...not for the same reasons...

He had recovered from a heroin addiction.  This is something my parents hate to talk about but it doesn't bother me to admit it.  So be considerate.  There have been many deaths due to this horrid stuff and I think some of us are just more willing to look for an escape whether it's beer, pills, pot or whatever...Life is hard and full of pain and suffering for everyone...But that heroin stuff must be the devil because it really overtook him.  Thank goodness, I skipped that one.  He had been clean a few months (no methadone, nothing) and just sat down on the couch and died of major heart failure at 33 y/o.  He had a congential heart defect which he had surgery on when he was in the sixth grade.  But we had No warning of his death and no goodbyes.  Were not really sure of the date he actually died.  His death certificate said the 14th, but I saw him at 3 or 4 am on the 14th and he had been gone at least 6-8 hours.  (Sorry, but I've seen dead people and been to autopsies, etc.)  So, I just mourn for 2 days...

I miss him so badly...He was one of my best life friends and you just can't replace those types of relationships...

So, listen to Free Bird and have a class of wine, beer or whatever and toast to life, fun and a good party and then to the thereafter...where we will live in the arms of angels, become perfectly peaceful...