Exhausted
July 9, 2008 8:43pm
It seems I only write in my journal when I am having a rough time. Right now, life is not so good. I am …
Progress
30 %
HollyNRK’s Profile
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About Me
My Mom died Oct. 19, 2007. She was my best friend, my soul mate, my champion and one of the true loves of my life along with my son. She died while babysitting my son her "Bumpers" on a trip here to Philadelphia from Atlanta. She suffered a massive heart attack. The last time I saw her she was happily feeding my son peas, I was only going to be gone for 4 hours, and she was gone 3 hours later. The next time I saw her she was lifeless in the ER. I am devastated and many days I wonder if I can go on. I am married to sometimes great sometimes selfish man and mother to an amazing son who was born Dec. 2, 2006. My Mom was in the delivery room with me. Mom and I considered his birthday to be the best day of our lived because we experienced this miracle together. I love her still with all my heart.
Interests
None, now that my Mom has died. I used to love walking around the city and being a part of the Philadelphia social scene. All that has changed now, my life as I knew it and all those things ended the night I lost my Mom.
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Recent Activity
Today
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HollyNRK gave lisamatt1990 a Hug 3:07am
Hi Lisa- I read your story in a forum and just wanted to say how sorry I am about your Mom. I lost my…
Tuesday
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HollyNRK changed their mood to Horrible 11:47pm
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HollyNRK commented on Carrie21TT’s photo/video 11:04pm
Your Mom is my kind of lady! What a beauty...and smart too!…
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HollyNRK gave carlos a Hug 7:12pm
Hi Sharon- Hope you are surviving the tropical storm. My hubby said it dumped 12 inches of rain on you.…
Sunday
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Journal
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Awful Grief...
June 10, 2008 12:10am
I am having a really bad day. Last night I dreamed that my Mom was still alive. I gave her a big hug and held on for dear life. It …
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It feels like yesterday
June 6, 2008 1:20am
Tomorrow night I had tickets to go to a concert with my Hubby and my girlfriends. Then today I found out that the concert was going to be in …
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Having a Really Bad Day
June 4, 2008 10:08pm
Last night I realized, without a doubt (with the exception of Bumpers) that I am very alone in this world. I call Dad every night, around 11:00 …
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Time Away
May 22, 2008 1:28pm
To anyone who reads this- I think I am going to cut down the amount of time I spend here at DS/MD for now. I will still check in every …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hi Holly! HOw are you doing? I haven't been on here for about a week. I wanted to check in on you. Lots of love & hugs, Cheryl
Prayer
Just stopping by to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and your son. Hugs...
Hug
Wishing you some joy today! Sending some positive energy and happy thoughts! I enjoy underwater photography to help me through. Here’s a video of some beautiful butterfly fish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTH...
Good Luck
sending good luck ur way:o)
Hug
May the love of God be always with you. You are in my thoughts today. Cindy
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ParentMy Mom was my best friend, my everything, the love of my life. How can I live without her? I miss her so much! She was amazing, the best Mom and Nana anyone could ever wish for. I will love her with all of my heart for eternity.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- All day, every day. Crying is now a part of my life.
- Helping Others Considering
- Once I am able to function again, this is something I would like to do in my Mom's memory.
- Keeping Busy Considering
- How do you think of anything else but the loss of the most important person in your life? Distractions are not helping.
- Music Working / Worked
- I listen to songs that remind me of Mom. Either songs she loved or songs that have lyrics that I can relate to right now, songs that remind me of my love for her and of hers for me. I cry my eyes out while listening.
- Pets Somewhat Helpful
- My dog is a source of comfort as she was a gift from my mom, but she is jeleous of my son and so there is a personality confict there and I do worry about it. My mom loved her and her two malteses at home so very much.
- Prayer Not Working
- I prayed for Mom long before she died. I am praying for her soul now and I am sometimes really angry with God.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have a great therapist. She is very supportive and I do feel marginally better after a session. But the feeling is fleeting and soon reality somes crashing back.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- All I want to do is remember my Mom but it is breaking my heart to remember so much... But memories are all I have.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- I am from a family that consists of all men now that my Mom is gone. 3 brothers and my Dad and my husband and my son. My huband only has 4 brothers, no sisters.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Joined this group and it is helping. My therapist is also putting together a support group of young women like myself who have recently lost parents. The group will start meeting in January.
- Talking Working / Worked
- This is the only thing really helping me so far. I just want to talk about her all the time. I do not want to forget one detail about her.
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- How long until my heart quits breaking? How long until the pain stops? When I have the answers, I'll let you know. My guess is NEVER!
Close Diets & Weight Maintenance
Ballooned to 207 pounds when I got pregnant. I was at the high end of my weight when I conceived. I have 20-25 lbs left to loose to be at my ideal weight. Food has been my source of comfort, I have eaten non-stop since my Mom died in October. So devastated over her death. She had a heart attack. I am afraid that I am headed down the same road. I am apple shaped with most of my fat on my belly, back, and arms. Never can stick to a diet exercise plan!
Treatments
- Atkins Diet Working / Worked
- Lost a lot of weight. It all came back. Too rescrtictive for me. Concerned about the high fat design of the diet.
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- Works but I find it so tedious to write down every little thing I eat. I always end up getting frustrated and quitting.
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I work out sporadically. If I could just stick to going to the gym consistantly, I would be OK.
Open Parenting Toddlers (1-3)
I have an adorable baby boy who was born Dec. 2, 2006. I am in love!
Open Asperger Syndrome
HollyNRK hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
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Snapshot
Recently …
- 4 hugs given
- 9 hugs received
- 1 group discussion post
- 12 group discusson replies
- 1 photo comment
