MariaSeattle’s Profile

About Me

after 28 years in an emotionally abusive marriage to an alcoholic, sex addict, I finally walked out 6 weeks ago- don't know if the repercussions are worth it, am losing alot of weight, BP way up, heart rate way up, sleep, none, even with Dr prescribed meds anxiety attacks one day, depression the next. I am falling apart, but could not take 1 more day/night of his drinking, his obsession with sex, sneaking out of our bed at 3:00 in the morning to cruise his many porn sites; makes a woman feel pretty inadequate. So to survive I moved out. Not easy to do, had it pretty good. ONE WEEK after I move put I go back to the house to stumble upon him and one of his whores- one week. His fantasy is now his reality. Porn, whores, everything I was never enough of, he now has. I've checked his emails, why? not to torture myself, but to remind myself of the reason I left- I love this man so much, and it would be so easy to fall back into his arms. To keep myself strong, I need to remind myself of his illness, and try to move on. 28 years is enough. UPDATE: 4 months later- life is getting better, I'm enjoying my self discovery, and I like who I am! I'm letting him go, I'm letting my resentment toward him go, I can finally breathe. I wish him well, this is the biggest, most challenging journey I have ever been on, but one step a time, I am succeeding, and am so proud of myself! God bless. UPDATE: Divorce was finalized May 1, it's over, yet just beginning. Met a guy, resisting him at all costs, but he is so damn cute. I know, I know, go slow. Life is getting better.