lilmskeys's Journal

still rambling Mood

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I was able to stand on my feet long enough to make two homemade tacos,,,and they were yummy!!!

It is breaking my heart to think of what our dear friend SadBecca is going through laying there at the mercy of machines and Drs and nurses around the clock all trying to save a very broken and shattered heart. Please if you read this stop and pray for Becca,,that Gods will be done for her at this point in her life...God can raise her from the dead if He wills,,,God can also take her home if He wills...it's that critical right now friends and saddens my heart soooo very much...I have been trying to be there for Becca through the worst and right when she seemed to come out of her shell,,she went down hard...I cry not just for myself you see,,,I cry for all of us,,,I see all the suffering in society and that's why I know Jesus is the way,,,they only way we can make it in this world...I picture an ocean named after me in heaven that says, Carols Tears created "Calming Waters" here. ,,,I would love a birdbath right by me wherever I am buried...I am going to put that in my will, which I need to do some day,,,a beautiful bird bath...oh how I love birds,,,,I wonder if being given a "gift" to sing for God is why I love birds the way I do...I love to feed birds and listen to birds singing and chirping inviting the glory of God to shine upon his creation each and every morning...I have been sleeping with my bedroom window open when the smoke isn't so bad..just because I love the feel of a cool breeze along with my birds in the morning awakening my senses...now I just need to get myself one of those nice units that have different sounds like waterfalls and the ocean and birds, etc...I love scented candles at night,,and to burn nice smelling oils,,,right now I'm working on Lavender which is nice...I need more tealights though...aromatherapy really works for me...I have a nice smelling Euyculyptus and Camomille linen spray that I love to spray on my sheets and pillows before I lay down to read before falling asleep..my nightly rituals,,oh so private,,,that I just shared with the world...as of late I have been sleeping in my silk nighties too because it's sooo hot in Redding.I have to have something on,,I don't sleep nude like men do, hahahahaha...maybe some women do too,,but I like nighties and short tshirts, etc...the less the better..underwear and a tank top works just fine too..gosh how did I get here...Oz would be lovin this,,lol,,,lol...oh yeah...the guy who is coming to do my power wheelchair is sooo cool,,,next Tuesday he's coming so please be praying for me,,,he's done thousands of these and he said this sounds like spinal stenosis to him and surgery is a very delicate thing because could become a paraplegic,,which I already feel almost like one now,,,but at least I DO HAVE feeling,,,that's pretty darn important when considering yet another surgery...I just knew it...I could tell a long time ago...he also says,,negligence on my Drs part in not getting me to a neurologist a long time ago and following through on things...thought I would throw that in....I did not write this poem but thought it was good and posted it at Calming Waters..I need more people to join the group and beef it up better...spread the word, tell your friends to come join us..blessingssss..lil
Hope Will See Us Through

HOPE WILL SEE US THROUGH

Throughout my life I have to say the Lord’s been good to me,
He’s poured out many blessings, given life abundantly,
I know I need to praise Him more, but lately things have changed,
It seems like everything in life is being rearranged.

There are still some good days, but oh my, I never knew,
That trials could come so suddenly, from somewhere in the blue,
I now have days where all goes wrong, at least that’s how it seems,
I fight fatigue and sleepless nights, the pain is so extreme!

The doctors have no answers, and my friends don’t understand,
Oh how I yearn at times for just one friend to hold my hand,
And, listen when I cry and say, “I need someone to care,
Not try to “fix” or “give advice,” but simply “just be there.”

Dear God I know I’m not alone, I know that you are here,
There’re others, too who need to know You’ll wipe away their tears,
Lord, help us in our struggles to be all You’d have us be,
To be “Your hand extended” to all those who are in need.

We’ll all go through our trials, and some will face much pain,
Lord teach us to “reach out and touch Your robe,” and then we’ll gain,
The strength to keep on “pressing on” and helping others, too,
And then we’ll know the blessed “hope” we’ll find only in You.

There are no answers always to the questions that arise,
You didn’t promise sunshine without some cloudy skies,
But, You did promise we have “hope,” that “anchor for the soul,”
And, someday if we just endure, Your face we shall behold.