KristinesMom's Journal

Detaching with love and other Coping Skills

What is detachment?

Detachment is the:

Ability to allow people, places, or things the freedom to be themselves.

Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational.

Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself.

Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people.

Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.

Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life.

Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence.

Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering.

Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling.

Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life.

Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point.

Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them.

Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.''

Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.

 For more on Detachment, click this link:

 http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm

 

 This same link has loads of helpful info. Here is a story from one page and more links:

A nice little story off the internet - author anonymous Here are some things that might be helpful.
COPING
http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm
http://www.coping.org/innerhealing/affirms.htm
http://www.coping.org/control/detach.htm
http://www.coping.org/control/letgo.htm
http://www.coping.org/innerhealing/dump.htm
http://www.coping.org/relations/content.htm
http://www.coping.org/relations/conflict.htm
http://www.coping.org/growth/perfect.htm
http://www.coping.org/growth/fears.htm

 

Affordable prescription drug program at Walmart. Target has basically the same one. Take the list to your pdoc if costs are keeping you from taking your meds, see if any of these can address your condition!
WALMART $4 PLAN MENTAL HEALTH MEDS

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.gsp?cat=546834&fromPageCatId=5431

WAL–MART/SAM'S CLUB $4 Prescription Drug Program

Mental Health Medications
I have added the Brand names (in parenthesis)

List Effective September 27, 2007

Applies to up to a 30 day supply at commonly prescribed dosages.

AMITRIPTYLINE 10/25/50/75/100MG TABLET (Generic Elavil) 
BENZTROPINE 2MG TABLET  (Gen. Cogentin)
BUSPIRONE 5/10MG TABLET (Gen. Buspar)
CARBAMAZEPINE 200MG (Gen Tegretol)
CITALOPRAM 20/40MG TABLET (Gen. Celexa)
DOXEPIN HCL 10/25/50/75/100MG CAPSULE (Gen. Sinequan) 
FLUOXETINE 10/20/40MG CAPSULE (Gen. Prozac)
FLUOXETINE 10MG TABLET  30*
FLUPHENAZINE 1MG TABLET  30
HALOPERIDOL 0.5/1/2/5MG TABLET (Gen. Haldol)
HYDROXYZINE HCL10MG/5ML SYRUP (Gen. Atarax)
LITHIUM CARB 300MG CAPSULE  90*
NORTRIPTYLINE 10/25MG CAPSULE (Gen. Aventyl, Pamelor and Nortrilen)
PAROXETINE 10/20MG TABLET (Gen. Paxil)
PROCHLORPERAZINE 10MG TABLET (Gen. Compazine, Buccastem, Stemetil, Phenotil
THIORIDAZINE 25/50MG TABLET (Gen Mellaril)
THIOTHIXENE 2MG CAPSULE (Gen Navane)
TRAZODONE 50/100/150MG TABLET (Gen. Desyrel)
TRIHEXYPHENIDYL 2MG (Gen. Benzhexol, Artane)
 

Laura*s Links for Mental Health Help!

 OK, because I have had positive results from joining support groups, I find that I frequently give the same advice to many posts here. Please also see the 12/12/07 entry on thingsI use to COPE

Here are 2 links to finding support and resources for yourself and/or family or friends:

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) (National and international groups)

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?section=your_local_NAMI 

 

Depression and Bipolar Alliance (national and international groups)

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsuppor

http://www.dbsalliance.org/ 

Helping a Loved one Page:

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_helping

From DBSAlliance Helping a Loved One page:

What you can say that helps:

 

:::Y ou are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
::: I understand you have a real illness and that’s what causes these thoughts and feelings.
::: You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.
::: I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
::: When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute - whatever you can manage.
::: You are important to me. Your life is important to me.
::: Tell me what I can do now to help you.
::: I am here for you. We will get through this together. 

 

What you should avoid saying:

 

It’s all in your head.
We all go through times like this. You’ll be fine. Stop worrying.
Look on the bright side.
You have so much to live for; why do you want to die?
I can’t do anything about your situation.
Just snap out of it.
Stop acting crazy.
What’s wrong with you?
Shouldn’t you be better by now?

 

PSYCH MED INFO

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/moodstabilizers.htm

PSYCHIATRIST APPOINTMENTS, helpful ways to talk to pdoc
http://www.power2u.org/articles/selfhelp/reclaim.html

AVOIDING MANIC EPISODES
http://www.bpso.org/nomania.htm

SUICIDAL FEELINGS
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

PANIC ATTACK COPING TIPS
http://www.panic-anxiety.com/anxiety/tips/

Panic Attack Diversion Tactics

Splash face with cold water - this produces the dive reflex and causes your brain to send messages to your body to slow downDistraction - Count down from 100 as fast as you can, repeat over and over. Do maths problems or anything else that occupies your mindListen to your favourite music loudly and sing along to itSay to yourself - this has never hurt me, it has never hurt anyone else and it never will. I know what it is and it means nothing - disempower the attackTell yourself that what you are feeling are sensations; nothing more and that sensations never hurt anyoneWatch a funny video on TV, laugh out loudDon't look at yourself in the mirrorKeep some apples in the fridge. Eat one, then another if you wishGently slap your cheeks and dance around - confuse your thoughts to distract themIn the night, get out of bed, turn on the TV, get a drink, eat an apple and keep movingTalk to someone or phone someone - don't discuss your anxietyDo something physical if you canDo not sit down! Keep moving