sambod's Journal

      well, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't the greatest day of my life either. 

I have not wanted a cigarette, the patch went on at 6 a.m.  I have just felt out of sorts today, sort of in a fog.  

I joined the smoking addiction and recovery group at ds and they have all made me feel very welcome and have gave me a lot of advise.  I didn't have that type of support the last time i tried it.  I have to do it for me.  I just don't like the way that i have been feeling lately.  i have no energy...zip....zilch......nada.  I am slowly starting to have energy now.  I purposely didn't do things that i normally do in the morning today and that has kept me busy this evening.. the benefit is that i will feel better cause the first thing i learned is that i have to do it for me first before anyone else including sam.  He's my angel and biggest supporter..  I can hopefully be around for him longer now. 

you guys here have heard me say time and time again how we must take care of ourselves.  I was such a hypocrite.  In my opinion to give that type of advise, you have to practice what you preach and i didn't.

so i thought i would start day one of this journal on what i liked and didn't like about smoking...

likes:  it was a great stress reliever; a boredom reducer; i spent the majority of my time growing up around my grandparents who both smoked; and there was a time in my life where it was considered cool to smoke. 

dislikes:  hate the smell on my clothes and hair, turned my teeth or was turning my teeth yellow.  allergies seem to be worse when i was smoking; it has ruined the upholstery in my car;

well that's enough for today.  i hope tomorrow is easier.