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  • Image of Jakobsmommyalways

    About Me

    My name is Brandi Richardson. I am married to a wonderful man, a soldier. His name is Jason. Jason was in Iraq when I had our son Jakob, and never got to meet him. We are a strong christian family, and believe God will bring us out of this terrible tragedy, He will deliver us from our pain here on earth when we go to be with Him and Jakob eternally. In the mean time, we are just taking things a day at a time, and doing things the best way we know how.

  • Recent Activity

    Thursday

    Tuesday

  • Journal

    • so dissapointed

      Mood July 20, 2008 9:51pm

      hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh they didnt send Jakob's hospital bracelet back from iraq with jason's personal items..  I dont know if I will ever get it back, or if it is in a dumpster somewhere, or in a burn pile, burnt to ashes.  I cried for three hours.  they sent his announcement pillow, his blankie, his pics, his hospital beanie, his umbilical clip, but no bracelet.  They cant replace that.  His shoes, and x-box that didnt make it back, we can replace that...his TA50, bullet proof stuff..ect.  can be accounted for by them, but my babys bracelet, they cant fix that...people piss me off man................................. …
    • damn the doctors, I am so lost right now

      Mood July 17, 2008 11:12am

      The lawyer finally e-mailed me back.  The medical expert who was to testify in our case for my Jakob and the neglegance that caused his case had …

    • A hard night at wal-mart..rough end to the day

      Mood July 10, 2008 8:44pm

      So, I went to walmart to get the food for Jakob's big party tomorrow...I was ok, doing alright.  Then, I went by the baby isle and ....bad …
    • A new understanding...

      Mood July 9, 2008 4:48pm

      I have come to realize in the past few months, really put some thought into it today.  I do expect people to be there without me having to …

    • Seriously?

      Mood July 8, 2008 9:34pm

      So, am I wrong in this?  My husband called his mom to tell her we were having Jakob's birthday party Friday, on His birthdy at 7 pm.  …

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  • Hugbook

    Give Jakobsmommyalways a hug

    • Hug

      From NickNicksmommykitkat Thursday

      OMg it came today and I totally love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!! considering I got a big a$$ it's so perfect!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could show jeff but it would give it away hahahahaha

    • Hug

      From 4ks Wednesday

      He's sounds like a character!lol I'm doing a little better. Trying not to think about it. I know that is know the healthiest thing to do but sometimes it's the only way I will make it through the day.

    • Hug

      From NVDoula Tuesday

      I hope your day went okay with your grandma. I'm sure she appreciates your company. I will say a prayer for her, and for you. Try and hang in there. (((Hugs)))

    • Hug

      From NickNicksmommykitkat Tuesday

      I know we have passed the 1/2 way point I am getting anxious too. We could kill ourselves with the what ifs...like Jeff, the academy right now the rumor is it's on hold til october....grrrr that means he can very well miss the birth which sucks but i am not going to really worry myself over it til it's time to worry. We just have to have faith all is going to go good! I can't wait til they get here!

    • Hug

      From NVDoula Tuesday

      You're right...never right, just okay. Hope you're doing okay today. (((Hugs)))

    Read Hugbook

  • Support Groups

    • Close Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
      : I support someone who has lost a child to SIDS

      I was 7 and 1/2 months pregnant when my husband Jason left for Iraq. Jakob was born healthy July 11th 07. Jakob was healthy and happy! Jakob passed away on sept 20th, 3 days after his vaccinations. My mom found him in his bassinet that morning gone. I had a dream Jakob died in his sleep that morning,and awoke to my worst nightmare coming true. The current ruling is interstial pneumonitis. Jason came home on the 23rd of sept. The first and last time he held Jakob was at the funeral home.

      Treatments

      Grief Counseling Somewhat Helpful
      It is helping with my relationship with my husband. With Jason not being here and never meeting Jakob we are on two seporate levels of grief, and dont understand what the other is going through. It's hard, undescribably hard. I cant sleep anymore, I am up until 4-6 am when I finally go to sleep. It's almost like I am scared to go to sleep.
      Writing Somewhat Helpful
      I have a myspace dedicated to Jakob. I do a lot of research on SIDS and on vaccinations. I write on there to make people aware of what can happen with both. I also write to Jakob. I know he will never see it, but it is helpful for me to vent.
    • Close Immunizations

      My son passed away less than three days after his vaccinations at 10 weeks old. The autopsy results are in and have determined Jakob passed of interstitial pneumonitis. He was missdiagnosed three times, one of those was two days before he passed. They told me he had a common cold. I believe his vaccinations may have pushed his little body to it's limit, he passed two and a half days after recieving them.

      Treatments

      Research Working / Worked
      It is working somewhat
    • Open Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      My son Jakob passed away at about 10 weeks old on sept 20th 2007. He was healthy, perfect. He got his vaccines on sept 17th and two and 1/2 days later, gone. They determined the cause of death as interstitial pneumonitis. He was miss-diagnosed three times, one of those was at his last apt 2.5 days before he got his wings. Life pretty much sucks right now. I can't seem to get myself to function normally. Cant sleep, cant eat right.

      Treatments

      Seroquel Working / Worked
      great for sleeping.
      Writing Somewhat Helpful
      It helps to vent.
      Zoloft Working / Worked
      Working well. Had a few headaches, but I can get out of bed now.
    • Open Bereavement

      I lost my baby boy at 10 weeks on sept 20th 2007. He was healthy, it was interstital pneumonitis. Someone's ignorance to his symptoms, or his vaccinations took my son's life. I WILL get to the bottom of this.

      Treatments

      Crying Working / Worked
      Getting Angry Working / Worked
      Grief Counseling Working / Worked
      Prayer Working / Worked
      The only thing really getting us through
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      Reading Working / Worked
      Remembering Working / Worked
      Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
      Support Groups Working / Worked
      Talking Working / Worked
    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      My son passed away on sept 20th of 07. he was born July 11th 07. Jakob layed down for a nap and woke up in heaven. I am having flashbacks of that terrible day constantly. At times during the day, things will trigger it, when i get in bed and close my eyes, it triggers it every time. I fall asleep with that image in my head every night. I dont know how to make it stop.

      Treatments

      Reading Working / Worked
      It was a great help to me to read about others who have experienced this, I know I am not alone even though I feel alone at times.
      Supportive Care Working / Worked
      I have a lot of support from my family and a few friends.
      Talking Working / Worked
      Talking about "the day" does help me get it out instead of keeping it bottled up inside of me.
      Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
    • Open War in Iraq

      my husband was in Iraq from May until sept. Jason had to come home on emergency leave to burry our 10 week old son Jakob he never got to meet. It pisses me off. They gave him the option to come home for the birth, but he would have been gone for a year straight after that. So we decided to wait until nov. Why couldnt they have sent him home for the birth for a week, and then back on leave later. I didnt keep up with the politics, because that pissed me off too. It's not worth it to me.

    • Open Sexual Abuse

      I was raped repeatedly from age 5-6 by a friend of the family. He was 12. He was not physically rough with me, but I remember being tricked into thinking it was ok, then when I wanted it to stop, he convinced me we would both get in trouble, and I had to keep doing it. It was on a weekly basis for a year. I can still see his face, hear his words. I told my parents when I was six. He and his family dissapeared. I recently found out they did not press charges because he was abused as well.

      Treatments

      Talking Working / Worked
      I did not speak of it again until I was 16. I think my dad thinks I forgot, I dont have the heart to tell him I remember. It has helped to talk about it. My mom and I make comments here and there, but never discuess it.
      \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
    • Open Pregnancy After Loss/Infertility

      I lost my son Jakob on sept 20 07 to a missdiagnosis at the military hospital. We have a law suite in progress now. My husband left for Iraq when I was 7.5 months pregnant and came home for Jakob's funeral when he was about 10 weeks old. The first and last time Jason held our son was at the funaral home. My Jakob's death was much like that of SIDS. We found him in the bassinet, lifeless. They catagorized it as SIDS until the report came in. I am now prego after 6 months of trying.

    • Open Chronic Pain

      I have back problems. They started after I delivered my sweet Jakob. I have a protruding disc pushing on a bundle of nerves and a torn tendon. I am now pregnant again, praise God, and the pain has gottin worse...

      Treatments

      Acupressure Working / Worked
      It was a great relief... Made me sleepy, and definately worked..
      Heat Working / Worked
      Oxycodone Working / Worked
      It definately worked, but I was not told what I was taking was addictive... I was on it for about 5 months. I stopped taking it when I found out I was pregnant, that was a terrible week...
      Physical Therapy Working / Worked
      I am still finding out...
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