Zdawg's Journal

J Journal entry #2 - Jan. 15th, 2008: Does life suck? What do you think....

- Insanity defines my life, I have learned to co-exist with this fucked up piece of my bittersweet personality. Although I admit while my own brand of insanity has led me down some dark paths in life, and has brought me to death's door on more than one occassion, it has also served me well as my own private sanctuary where everyone knows me and I am safe.    @<@

- With the passing of each day I am forced to admit my shortcomings, and I usually come to recognize those shortcomings at the end of my day, when I'm tired, burnt out, and feel as if I didn't get enough work done.  I'm I beating myself up for being a loser, when I'm not? Or I'm I beating myself up because I'm addicted to the struggle, and not the sweet nectar of success itself?

- You know what I miss about being a drug addict? No one expected anything from me. No one wanted anything from me. Its all I miss since being addicted is little more than a patheticly slow minute by minute creeping death... but I do admit that I miss some of the quiet & calm that came with the life of a junkie.  

- Well praise God for the good stuff! I know no one reads these journal's and thats great, I don't need them, fuck em' I say! Who are they anyways? Who cares. My point is PROGRESS has been made on my 2nd goal to start MY NEXT BOOK! If you failed to observe then let me draw your attention to the 2nd posted goal shown below. This morning it registered aS a   Z E R O.  A zer0? Zer0 is what the 1st place loser gets for coming in 2nd!!!!

- But my shit now reads 5% and that reflects true A D V A N C E M E N T, HARD W O R K, AND MY UNYIELDING COMMITMENT to X-CELLENCE! In  ACTUAL work it represents the opening paragraph on the Introduction page. Sure some may balk, others see only my folly... But for me its a new beginning and every beginning ALWAYS holds the promise of the sweet sweet embrace of taking that next PAINFUL step. E - U - R - E - K - A !

LIFE IS GOOD!

PS - Remember quit caring, it works for me!!!