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liz417's Journal

Journal Entry for November 15, 2007 Mood

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Whew! It's 3:00pm and I made it through today!! As most of you know, Thursday and Fridays are my hardest days because of payday and because I know there is a few extra bucks in the bank account. I need to be extra strong or be really busy on those days! Gambling only crossed my mind once today while I was on my way back from the bank. I was thinking of all the bills I needed to pay and worrying about $$, when I thought to myself, "all I would have to do is go to the casino and win BUT leave before I put it all back into the machines!" Immediately, I stopped that thinking because I have ALWAYS said that before I go into the casino and EVERY TIME I put it ALL back in (maybe a handful of times I actually brought $$ home, but went back the next day because I thought I was on a "lucky streak"). I also wanted to mention that I was worried about my progess here on DS, would I stop writing my my new found friends because I gave into my urges? I also thought about my progess, 33 days GF, and how embarrassed I would be to have to come here and say I've relapsed, etc., so I took the dogs to the park instead. Kept busy all day.

It was a good day for me.

34 Days Gamble-free!!!

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Comments

No matter what happens, or what is going on in our lives, we can always come here to our 'safe haven'. There is no judgment here, no one is going to react to anything, in any manner other than a loving friend, and family member. we love each other and care for each other no matter what. You are doing great, 33 days is awesome. Just think about where you were when you came here, go back and read you very first writings, the difference is like night and day. Keep fighting the fight, cause as we have said before, you are in the fight of your life, for your life.
hugs and love
Danya

Makmarie
I know this feeling, getting home! It's such a good oen. I have felt like this many times when those urges have strunck and I made it to my haven...home. It's a great choice that you made today. I agree with Danya, it doesn't matter what the circumstances this is not a competition to see who can make it the longest. We are here for you under any circumstances and it is each of our goals to be GF ...just for today. You are an encoragment to me and many 33 days is fantastic!
Blessings and hugs,
Suzi

Auzgurl
Compulsive behavior..... jumping up at acting at the first inkling of an idea....no thoughts of lessons learned in the past, no thinking about the consequences, no concern for the damage to be done to self and loved ones.....just rush madly forward, lost in the "dream world" of the out of control gambler.....that's how I was. Sound familiar?
NOT TODAY!!! Today was different.
Today, you stopped for a moment. You thought about the lessons of the past. You considered how this would affect your relationships with others. Most improtant of all, you thought about how this would affect YOU, and your own recovery.
You considered the consequences, and you exercised your right to make a choice about how your life is going to be, a choice about how you were going to feel tomorrow morning, a choice about who is in control of the choices.
Today, thanks to good choices on your part, the old habit of compulsive behavior was put behind you. Today, you're a winner!!!
Great stuff, sister......a little bit each day.....Hugs

eastwester
Yes tomorrow will be better, we both seem to be strong. We will both be GF for one more day, by the way I love the picture of the puppy, what kind of dogs do you have. Hugs, Mindy

mindypanebianco
Hi Liz, 33 days great job. I too used to think I could leave there with winnings but never could either. You are doing great, I bet the dogs enjoyed the park as much as you did. Isn't it funny how we forgot some of the fun things we used to do while we were in the CRAZY gambling ZONE but no more let's all stay GF and enjoy what life has to offer. Take Care and have a great weekend

jude48
Hi, Liz ,
The class is macroeconomics, I am having a problem with doing the graphs for supply and demand if you can help that would be great. Thanks Again

mindypanebianco
great job --- you are aware of your urges and staying away from the casinos -- stay positive

bmack
34 days, great job, keep well

tas7