chschick2003's Journal

So, I have felt better recently.  My mom is causing all kinds of problems for me, but today it just doesn't seem to matter.  It is nice out, and I am going to go swimming later this week. :)  I can't wait.  I am beginning to realize that I will be ok if I break up with my guy.  Things are looking up for a while.  I love it. :)

How can a guy be so afraid of a future with a girl he claims to love?  He tells me he can’t wait to get married and have a family.  Then he tells me that when we spend a lot of time together, it makes that time not special anymore.  It is a good thing we aren’t married already, or I wouldn’t have a place to live.  Whenever the future comes up in a conversation with his friends he makes some crack about how he will never have a “ball and chain” like they do.  After this later argument, I don’t want to marry him.  I don’t want him to father my children.  He is just a guy who doesn’t love me and never will.  I repeatedly tell him that I am not in a hurry, and that I would like to wait on things in our future.  Now, I don’t want a future with him. He hurts me too deeply to be safe.  He hurts me too much to be my future.

 

 

I drive 45 minutes to see him every time, and now he tells me that I shouldn’t spend the night anymore cause he wants his space. . .  I guess that is what I get.  I fall head over heels, and I look like a fool.  Love is not something I like.  It hurts too much.