ROBIN68's Journal

Journal Entry for June 13, 2008 Mood

Friday, June 13, 2008

HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN A WHILE AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

BEEN FEELING VERY MIXED UP AND CONFUSED. JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE I BELONG ANYWHERE. I DON'T FEEL LIKE I BELONG ON HERE ANYMORE. JUST TOO MANY CHANGES GOING ON AND I CAN'T KEEP UP. FEELING LIKE I'M FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE AND I'M JUST TOO TIRED TO FIGHT ANYMORE.

PISSED OFF MY BEST GIRLFRIEND. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I DON'T REMEMBER DOING IT BUT SHE SAYS SHE'S NOT MAD BUT I KNOW SHE IS. DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT OR ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER.

COMING ON HERE ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL GOOD AND IT MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL. NOW I AVOID THIS PLACE LIKE I AVOID EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. JUST FEEL LIKE CRAWLING UP IN A BALL AND NEVER MOVING. BUT NOPE, CAN'T DO THAT. GOT TO PUT A SHOW ON. MAKE EVERYONE THINK I'M FINE. HELL, CAN'T SHOW THIS PAIN AND MISERY TO ANYONE ESPECIALLY NOT BILL. HE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND. NOBODY EVER DOES. JUST GET THOSE FAMOUS WORDS. BUCK-UP AND MOVE-ON.

WELL, I'M TIRED OF BUCKING-UP AND MOVING-ON. I DON'T WANNA GO ON ANYMORE.

THIS SUNDAY IS FATHER'S DAY. THERE'S 3 DAYS OF THE YEAR I HATE AND FATHER'S DAY IS ONE OF THEM. I'M JUST SO TIRED OF FEELING THIS PAIN AND ANGER. JUST SO FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL.

Hug ROBIN68

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Comments

I AM NOT MAD!!!! How can I be? A part of being friends is accepting the each other, warts and all.
I've got my fair share of them, yet you don't seem
to see them.

You belong here Girlfriend. There are a lot of people who care about you. It's the one place where you can be yourself. Don't give that up!!!!

....and don't you be avoiding me. I'll haunt you!!

SusanMc
Robin Honey! I know why this day hurts you, just know you can PM me ANYTIME if ya need to vent!

There are moments when someone says something and you wonder....how did they read my mind?? I wonder almost EVERYDAY...when is this gonna end, while knowing I have to get up and do it again tomorrow. Im with ya girl.

Oh and just give Susan a hug..yall obviously have a strong friendship and it can weather what ever this is about honey....strppin off my soapbox now...sorry if that was too forward, but we all need each other around here :)

Jenn

CoachDiva
((((((((((ROBIN & SUSAN)))))))))))

CoachDiva
Hey hun. Thanks for journaling. DS is still the place to write/journal about your feelings. I'm here to support and encourage you in any way I can. Hugs and prayers to you.

hja
Robinm sorry you ar feeling so bad. I feel like a hypocrite saying this but try to remember things will get betterI am here if you would like to talk

LeahT
ROBIN, Are we not here more for the bad days if not for the good days as well. If we were not beepers would we not be here. Foot Prints were made for just such occasions as this. Love YA FRIEND!!!!

HiLowDave
You belong here as much as I do. And there are always bumps along the road of good friendships. You know it is a good friendship when the little bumps aren't even noticed.

angeleyes92
Hang in here Robin. You need to come on here if you want. Let it all out that is what we are for. Nothing you say is wrong if you need to get it out just get it out. I am so sorry I know how hard times like this are for you. Your in my heart and prayers. love you girl!

tatsel
I'm glad you're here. What are the changes on here anyway? Maybe others have been feeling them too. I'm glad your venting. Others here do know what it feels like to be so sick and tired of all that pain. It's real, and ooooh, I know that feeling all to well.

Andreus