Goal Completed on Jan 25, 08
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BigRyan’s Profile
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About Me
Profession: Software Developer Family: Daughter 3, Son 6, recently separated.
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Hi Ryan, read your post and I'm truly sorry for the pain you're going through and for the pain you've caused, albeit unwittingly. I think some of the replies were spot on, you need to get support and direction for how to deal with your anger. As a woman I can tell you there is little more frightening than a man - and a big man at that - out of control and in a temper. I wish you well and if you ever want to talk, I'm here...Atheana
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I found your discussion, I hope your feeling better, well lm the noob, joined today, just wanted to say hi and congrats for reaching your goals
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Just wanted to say - if you are still around!
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Happy Easter Ryan!
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Just checking in with ya, hugz!
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Breakups & Divorce
I've been with the love of my life for almost 13 years. We both came from troubled backgrounds and had poor role models for marriage and communication. I was a emotional abuser, who thought I was loving by controlling and criticizing my wife. I now know that I was wrong. And it is too late. I will forever feel the guilt of loosing my family and love.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- I hope someday we will be able to council together in order to express our feelings and communicate better.
- Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful
- I'm starting to understand forgiveness and repentance. Love is key.
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- Not being in the same house with my wife has helped a lot to help me focus on myself and not constantly worry about the relationship. It's still is hard to be away from her and the kids. I miss them very much.
- Love Working / Worked
- Loving my kids and being there for her in all of this has helped me significantly. I feel as if that is who I am, and I feel rewarded in showing her and my children love.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- You know, I'm kinda finding music to be therapeutic. Radio Head seems to be popular with me as of late. I've also found many new artist that I can relate to, like Saul Williams, and Coldplay.
- Pets Considering
- I'm thinking of getting a cat to help with the physical loneliness. I need a positive distraction in the absence of my children and a companion.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- I've been reading: - I don't have to make everything all better - The five love languages - Love Must Be Tough - The Bait of Satan - The Bible - The Purpose Driven Life - The Fight of every Believer
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes I get encouragement, other times I feel as if I'm never going to be happy again. UPDATE: I'm starting to find some relief in talking, now that I am communicating rather than whining all the time.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- DS is awesome thus far. Also fully engaged in domestic violence/anger support groups. They have been so helpful, I'm starting to look into joining other groups, there's a local board gaming group that meets weekly.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I talk with friends and coworkers. One day I feel encouraged, the next despair.
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- If there's is anything I wish I had was time. This whole thing seems so rushed that there's no time to figure out what's going on. As they say, time heals all wounds right?
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship for 13 years. I am the abuser. I'm not sure it's been abusive the entire time. But the damage has been done, and I'm trying to make sense of my life and what it means now that she has left me.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- I have attended domestic violence groups, it has helped me realize what I am, why I have done what I have done, and how to correct it.
Open Child Support & Custody
I'm about to go through a divorce. My wife and I have decided to mediate and be civil about this, I don't want to hurt my kids, and want them to end up being as healthy as possible in all of this.
Open Anger Management
I have been angry all my life, at people at situations and blaming others for my actions, I'm currently seeking help with group therapy and with god.
Open Fitness Goals
Type: Maintain a workout scheduleI've put on quite a few pounds since getting married. My goal is to get back down to 220lbs.
Treatments
- Running Working / Worked
- Almost 5 miles a day now. Feeling great.
- Swimming Too Soon to Tell
- An hour a day or aerobic exercise.
- Weight Training Working / Worked
- My strength is increasing daily.
- Dietary Modification Working / Worked
- Significantly cutting the amount of food I eat on a daily basis.
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