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  • Image of CrzyPurpleChic

    About Me

    I am Rachael Elaine, A poet, A lover of books, A listener to Christian music, PURPLE makes me happy, Quality time with ones I love makes me feel good, I sleep with a teddy bear, I get inspired by other peoples stories, I'm a people person, My dad is my hero, I'm a twin and I'm SO proud of my niece, 4 is my lucky number, Missouri Western State University is where I got my degree in Psychology, Jesus Loves Me and U, My call is to help others where I have been hurt.

    Interests

    Poetry, Purple, Crochet, reading. I love books, I have a lot of them. I love watching my neice and and nephew grow up! They are an amazing gift from God. Watching movies, being involved in my church. Listening to music.

  • Recent Activity

    Saturday

    Friday

  • Journal

    • Journal Entry for July 19, 2008

      Mood July 19, 2008 12:12pm

    • empty and lonely

      Mood July 18, 2008 7:59pm

      Hi friends...

       

      I'm at my moms for the weekend.

       

      I'm not doing that well... The last few weeks have been really hard on me.  the …

    • the boring life of Rachael

      Mood July 9, 2008 3:29pm

      hi friends!

       

      I'm at work right now so I don't have that much time to write.  Kiddos will be waking up soon from nap.  At least …

    • just me...

      Mood July 2, 2008 4:12pm

      Hi friends!

       

       Things are going ok for me...  Still really sore from falling down the stairs.  Went to the dr. today because the …

    • falling down the stairs...

      Mood June 28, 2008 8:05pm

      Hi friends!

      hope you all are doing well

       

      Thursday night after biblestudy I stayed at the church to help clean.  Well right at then end I fell …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give CrzyPurpleChic a hug

    • Hug

      From shlee92 July 2

      u wanna chat

    • Hug

      From princess123 July 1

      HI hope your having a good day, miss ya a bunch, keep in touch when U can...hugs

    • Hug

      From Ellocin June 30

      that's kind of funny that's the one you have a tattoo of on your arm....because i'm thinking of 2 Corinthians 12:10 for my ankle...or possibly 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. I already have a chinese symbol for strong...but really I'm not strong...not on my own anyway. It's God who's got the strength. ***HUGS*** Take care.

    • Hug

      From beforeicouldhtink June 28

      hi, i have alot of journals i write like 4x a day you dont have to read them all :)

    • Hug

      From shlee92 June 28

      hey how r u

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    Progress

    25 %

    Goal End Date is Apr 18, 09 268 more days.
    no cutting (days)
    50
    Goal Completed on Apr 18, 08
  • Support Groups

    • Close Depression
      Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

      I've struggled with depression since I was a little girl. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I have been hospitalized over 20 times in the last 2 years & have attempted suicide about 6 times

      Treatments

      Celexa Somewhat Helpful
      Didnt work for me, I had too much anxiety and didn't like myself when I was on this drug.
      Cymbalta Working / Worked
      It worked for a while, then I got used to it and had to switch to something else.
      Effexor Somewhat Helpful
      I've been on effexor off and on for a few years now, it helps when I'm on it but it soon stops...
      Faith Working / Worked
      My faith in God is the only relief I get from my depression, especially when the meds aren't working. i have often wanted to end my life and have tried 6 times, He has a reason for me to be here...
      Paxil Not Working
      My psychiatrist put me on this. Didnt work, I crashed after I went off of welbutrin.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      I believe that medication is only a small part of recovery. I am in intense psychotherapy and have been since april of 06. I wouldn't have made it without her, Becky Minion.
      Seroquel Working / Worked
      I'm on seroquel for sleep, I'm not on it for depression, it works great for sleep though. the only bad side effect is weight gain.
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      works GREAT for sleep. I LOVE it!
      Wellbutrin Working / Worked
      I've been on it now since december or 07 and it's the best I've ever been on...
      Writing Working / Worked
      Writing for me is amazing way to get my thoughts and feelings out and then a great way to talk them over with my therapist!
    • Close Personality Disorders
      Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

      I'm 25. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I've had the diagnoses for over a year now. I struggle alot with abandonment issues, with my interpersonal relationships my emotions controling me and dissassociation.

      Treatments

      Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
      I was in a DBT groups for about 7 weeks. It worked great till the group fizzled out. Now I'm in a group and have been attending for four in a half months, it's a year long commitment. So far so good. I really want to get better and I don't think that realization would have happened if it wasn't for this group. I HIGHLY recommend it to those who suffer with BPD.
      Faith Working / Worked
      God made me who I am for a reason. I have faith that he will heal me from this and make me stronger because of it.
      Lamictal Working / Worked
      I've been on this for over a year and so far it's one of my fav mood stabilizers. I believe I've got the medicine to a theraputic level.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      Therapy is the only way I've been able to get through. I meet with my therapist once a week and we have a phone session during the week as well. It's a lot of hard work.
      Trileptal Working / Worked
      Didnt work that well... I was really medicated and was really tired all the time.
    • Open Self-Injury

      I started injuring myself when I was just eight years old. I started cutting right after my gradmother died 2003. I find it helpful although very unhealthy. I went 234 days of not cutting, and now it's almost a daily struggle, I hate that its back in my life...

      Treatments

      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      I have been in psychotherapy for over a year now with the same therapist and I wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for her.
      Talking Working / Worked
      Talking to people who have cut and aren't struggling with it really helps me to do other things besides cut.
    • Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

      I started being abused emotionally and physically after my mom left my dad. She left becuase of how he treated her and then left us with him. It was a crazy time growing up! He totally broke my self esteem down... My mom wasn't much help in that area either.

      Treatments

      Faith Working / Worked
      It has only been through my relationship with God that I have been able to forgive my Dad and brother. My faith gets me through many rough times and is there when things are great too....
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      It's only through therapy that I have been able to come to the point where I have forgiven my Dad and brother for what they did to me growing up.
    • Open Back Pain

      I first injured my back when I was working... I lifted something way too heavy the wrong way and it fell on me. I have also reinjured in recently by falling down the stairs. I have a hurniated disc, two buldging discs and degenerative disc disease at the ripe old age of 25. My Back pain is a constant pain. It really makes my depression worse.

      Treatments

      Acupuncture Somewhat Helpful
      Tried it a few times, didn't really work at all...
      Cortisone (Injection) Working / Worked
      I've had these injections before and they really helped... I'm signed up in the pain clinic again for december.
      Darvon Working / Worked
      It worked ok... not the best med I've been on.
      Flexeril Working / Worked
      I'm on a continuing dosage of 10mg. I take it twice a day. The only side effect is that it makes me sleepy, but thats really a good thing.
      Hydrocodone Working / Worked
      I'm also on a standing dose of Vicodin. I take it usually at night, but when it's really bad I take it every four hrs. It really works.
      Ibuprofen Working / Worked
      I take this for an antinflamitory. Its ok but it really upsets my stomach
      Naproxen Working / Worked
      I use aleve when I don't want to take the ibuprofen, aleve seems to not hurt my stomach as much.
      Physical Therapy Working / Worked
      I been in physical therapy three times for my back. It's helped each time, the trick is to continue doning your exercises after therapy is over.
      TENS Working / Worked
      I LOVE the tens machine. Wish I could own one, it worked wonders for my back!
      Oxycodone Working / Worked
      It's been working great for me so far, I've only been on it for a few days now...
    • Open Chronic Pain

      I have chronic lower back pain. I have two buldging discs, a herniated disc and degenerative disc disease.

      Treatments

      Flexeril Working / Worked
      Hydrocodone Working / Worked
      Lidoderm Working / Worked
      Naproxen Working / Worked
      Neurontin Working / Worked
      Physical Therapy Working / Worked
      TENS Working / Worked
      Oxycodone Working / Worked
      It has worked great for me so far, I've only been on it for a few days now...
    • Open Anxiety

      I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis, I think it's just part of the disease.

      Treatments

      Ativan Working / Worked
      Works great but I can't get a script for it because it's too addicting and I've overdosed on it before.
      Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
      Breathing works wonders for me. I was taught how to do it properly and it's so amazing when I acctually sit down and make myself breath.
      BuSpar Not Working
      didn't work AT ALL!!
      Klonopin Working / Worked
      I'm on 0.5 and I take it once a day. I like it better than ativan because it is a longer lasting drug.
    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of the abuse from my child hood I struggle with flashbacks, and disassociation.

      Treatments

      Art Working / Worked
      I love being creative!
      Effexor Somewhat Helpful
      I've been on effexor and it worked for a while.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      I work hard on my PTSD with my therapist. It's a lot of hard work, but I do it hopes to be healed one day, or at least strong enough to deal with it on my own.
      Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
      Was just put on it to help with depression... We'll see if it works. So far so good.
    • Open Insomnia

      I have trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep once I'm out. Medicatio is the only thing that works for me, if I don't have it i don't sleep.

      Treatments

      Ambien Working / Worked
      Works great, but my insurance doesn't cover it.
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      The BEST drug for sleep.
    • Open Step Families

      My Dad remarried after being divorsed for five years. And yes I do believe in evil step moms... but mines alot better now. I don't like that my family is dysfunctional, I wish we could all be together, but that is childish in this day and age. My mother has yet to remarry.

    • Open Family Issues

      I have a very dysfunctional family or at least we have been, now that most of the children are adults it's getting better. I have issues with my step-mom, my Dad used to physically and emotionally abuse me and my mother is not emotionally available. My stepmom has been evil, but now a lot of things have calmed down. We can all acctually be in the same room at the same time now, a gift from God!

      Treatments

      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      It's only through my trusted therapist that I am able to talk about my family issues. I have a lot of abandonment issues and lots of anger to still deal with as a young adult.
      Faith Working / Worked
      Our faith in God as a dysfunctional family has only brought us closer and has allowed forgiveness and much more. There is still lots to work out but we've come a long way since the begining.
    • Open Bereavement
      Type: Loss of a Relative

      I've lost a lot in my young adult life. My first real loss was my parents divorce, I took it really hard. Then my first physical loss was my paternal grandma, she was sanity in an insain world to me. Then a year later, her husband, my beloved grandpa died, I was his little girl. And just in Oct of 07 my maternal grandma died. I have also lost friends to suicide over the last years.

      Treatments

      Crying Working / Worked
      I cry all the time, at first I wasn't able to and then once I could it was and still is an amazing relief.
      Faith Working / Worked
      It's through faith that I have been able to come to the point that so far all the ones that I have lost are in a better place now, with Jesus up in Heaven.
      Grief Counseling Somewhat Helpful
      I just started a Grief group. It has been triggering for me, but overall I thing it's going to be a great asset. The grp ended up triggering me more than helping me.
      Poetry Working / Worked
      I write poetry all the time. I've been published 7 times.
      Prayer Working / Worked
      Prayer helps me all the time... God hears, and he answers... Praying for the family that lost someone recently helps me not to focus so much on my grieving.
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      It's only through therapy that I've been able to talk open and honestly about how each of these loses have effected my life.
      Remembering Working / Worked
      Being able to go to the gravesite is a good thing. And then remembering them on the day that they passed is good too.
    • Open Medicaid

      I've been on medicaid since april of 06. It's helped me to have insurance so I can get the help I need to fight my mental health and chronic pain with.

    • Open Financial Challenges

      I'm 50,000 or more in debt! I'm going through bankruptcy now and am also taking a class by Dave Ramsey I strongly suggest it to anyone have issues!

      Treatments

      Filing for Bankruptcy Too Soon to Tell
      haven't been able to file yet, still need to come up with filling fees...
    • Open Homelessness

      I was sent to a homeless shelter after one of my mental health hospitalizations becuase my family didn't want to take care of me, and this was the only way I could do it myself. I lived there for a little over ten months in their transitional housing and got my first apartment in December of 06.

    • Open Diets & Weight Maintenance

      I have always been over weight and I'm trying to fight it hard now while I'm young so I can get it under control. I'm about 80 to 100lbs over weight. YIKES!

      Treatments

      Counting Calories Working / Worked
      It's an easy way to know how much ur intake is so you can know what to exersice off.
      Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
      Eating more fruits and veggies and whole grains and high protien has helped a lot!
      Eat Less Working / Worked
      Portion Control really works, you have to be able to trick ur mind into thinking ur full. I drink lots of water!
      Physical Exercise Working / Worked
      I try to work out three times a week, but my depression gets in the way!
    • Open Abstinence & Celibacy

      Abstinence is the only effective birth control out there! I believe in waiting till your married to have sex. And yes I'm still a virgin.

      Treatments

      Faith Working / Worked
      It's only through my relationship with God that I am able to stay true to what I believe.
    • Open Degenerative Disc Disease

      I had an injury to my back several times when I was little, but I was very reseliant. Now... My first injury occurred in Oct of 04. I have reinjurded it twice since then, most recently being the end of december. After the MRI they told me that my degenerative disc disease had degenerated two of my dics and that eventualy it would do more damage. I'm constantly in pain and am on pain meds.

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