CrazyBeautiful85's Journal

Been told Im manic Mood

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Dont know if I am, cant really tell, All i know is I feel great, but apparently the thoughts and things ive been saying arent normal, feel normal to me and the fact that ive been speaking so fast that people had a hard time making sense of what i was saying. Ok Ive been more energetic than usual, and considering im pregnant and should be feeling tired I dont, not till real late. Im waking up during the night, but most of that I think is cause of the baby making me want to go to the toilet.

However the few things I have noticed is that Im extremely paraniod, and suspicious of everyones motives, this includes friends and family. I feel everyone is out to get me and wants to hurt me in one way or another. I swear there are minute cameras in the holes in my walls watching my every movement, cant say for sure but I think the government are watching us and keeping tags on us, for what reasons I do not know.

I keep seeing images from the corner of my eyes, i cant make them out as when i look again its gone. I swear last night I saw an outline of an angel in my bedroom, with light around the outline, being 8 floors up in a tower block it can hardly be light shining through the window!! It was there for sometime, just standing there not moving, had such a surreal feeling, I closed my eyes to try and go to sleep and when I opened them again it had gone.

Im hearing voices which echo my thoughts and talk about me, I hear my name alot too and no one is about to say it, even when its just me and hubby about I still hear Tash being called, and I know its not my hubby cause he never calls me Tash only Babe.

I guess this could all be part of psychosis, I dont know. The mental health team phoned thursday and but they didnt say much just said they were going to contact the perinatal team and get someone to phone me friday, which no one did i had to phone them too and ended up speaking to a social worker who had no medical qualifications so couldnt deal with me, someone is supposed to be ringing me monday, whether they do or not is another thing.

All I know is that Ive been like this for over a week and that it feels great, better than the depressive states ive been in, least like this I get stuff done around the flat, ok ive been very irritable and ragey with people specially when out and about, like shopping, really wanted to push this woman out of the way in Tesco today she was walking so slowly and in my way, have been voicing my opinions too, like to Tesco workers when one told me they had stopped serving breakfast at 11 30, they'd only been open 1 and a half hours, its stupid used to be till 3pm. So we ended up going to McDonalds, and the spotty teenage cashier was so slow and useless, kept giving him my annoyed looks. Even drivers of other cars pissed me off and I dont even drive. Have drawn some really good pictures tho, one is Van Gogh's sunflowers.

I still think im just being my usual self, what do you think?

Hug Crazy...

Send to a Friend

Comments

From from you have described you are manic and having psicotic symptoms. I know them personally all to well. I hope you get some help soon. I struggle with depression when Im not manic also, and sometimes miss the manic highs , but I know its still not a good trade off. Michael

WeCanCope
I would think it best to talk to a professional, of course, but it certainly sounds manic-like to me based on my own experiences and knowledge of mania.

jenmcd2
Best of luck to you, Tash.

jenmcd2
From my own experience I suggest you go see your doctor, it does sound manic, but only a professional can tell you that, good luck xxx

ReginaPhalange
Hey Tash, My guess is that you know what's happening, but like you said it feels so much better then the downs- get medical help soon, after most manic attacks follows depression. Don't let it go on to long. Good luck My Dear, Jade

mamalulu
Sounds like it to me but I don't know much. Find a professional, don't let yourself slip into depression.

SearchingforSolace
im glad that ur not in ur depression anymore and that ur happy !! but i think u should talk to a professional about ur paranoia!! it could lead to something far worse!! but hopefully when they call you and get everything straightend out u'll feel much better and wont have paranoia..! but i hope u get the help u need ! and let me know if u need any one to talk to !

killingmequickly
Sounds like mania to me.. check in with a pdoc and get stable .... hugs xx

polarbare
Could be mixed mania.( Dysphoric and regular mania). Could also be psychosis, and paranoia. But I'm not a pdoc, just a fellow bp . I had similar symptoms during my pregnancy. The energy was great but I went a bit peculiar toward the end, got really paranoid, hallucinations, and I was a meany. I'm still convinced I have mini cameras in my home, though. Need to talk, I'm here.

ozgrrl
It might be helpful for you to read the "Psychotic Symptoms" topic by "FaithLuvHopeCourage" in the BP community. Right now it is on page 4, but will be on pg 5 soon. Her question is very much like yours. The key with yours, I think, is recognition...the way you write this in the beginning, it sounds like these are experiences that started happening recently. If so, when? Answer that, then, read the last sentence of your journal.

starfish
It sounds like mania to me as well, but again as everyone has said you should call your pdoc and get in right away.

mysticdawnie
Tash honey get into the doc asap.....I'm just coming down off a 2 week long manic episode and trust me it not fun especially when you are pregnant.

I too heard voices, I cut off all my hair nearly shavign my head, ran around watchign the planes that were of course watching me and was convinced my hubby had poisoned my food one night. Even though it feels good right now, it will send you crashing down soon. Keep in good health.

And I know what you mean about those people in the corner of your eyes.....I see them all the time too. pretty sure they are ghosts.

Micallefmom
Thank you for your replies. Im going to try the mental health team again tomorrow, they were supposed to phone me today but didnt. wish it was as easy as it is in the states to get hold of a Pdoc, here it is near on impossible, well where i live it is. Things are a constant struggle here with mental health problems, and the team seem to have abandoned me. Will be making a complaint after baby is born, dont want the added stress of it now.
xx

CrazyBeautiful85
Hey Tash, I think you are having some manic episode here. You need to get to a Pdoc as soon as you can. You might even be displaying some schitophernia (spelling). Make sure you are telling the doctors all of this, it is really not a good idea to try to keep it quiet.

BlueToes
The doc will help I promise...I've been thru the same things

russ77