ROB2211's Journal

CRISIS CENTER ALERT Mood

Saturday, May 10, 2008

I AM AT THE POINT NOW, AFTER I FINISH WORK ON SUNDAY MORNING I WILL BE REPORTING TO THE LOCAL CRISIS CENTER. I AM TIRED OF ALL THE TURMOIL AND ACCUSATIONS. I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I HAD THREE BEERS TOTAL OVER A EIGHT HOUR SPAN. MY MEDICATIONS SAID TO WATCH COMSUMPTION, NOT TO AVOID IT ALL TOGETHER. I BOXED UP THE REST OF THE BEER AND EITHER MY SISTER WILL TAKE IT WHEN SHE COMES UP OR I WILL TAKE IT WHEN I GO HOME. I HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF TAKING BEER FROM MY EXES HOUSE. I HAVE ONLY HAD ONE BEER THERE AND THAT IS ALL AND I GAVE MY EX THE BOTTLE TO PROVE IT. ALMOST ALL THE OTHER BEER IN THE HOUSE, I DON'T LIKE. IF ANYTHING SHE HAS THE FREAKING DRINKING PROBLEM SINCE I MOVED OUT. THE BEER DOES SEEM TO BE DISAPPEARING QUICK, BUT I AM NOT THE ONE DRINKING IT.

I WILL AGAIN ADMIT MY DRIVING IS RECKLESS WHEN I AM ALONE. BUT WHEN THE KIDS ARE WITH ME, I DROVE THE SPEED LIMIT OR BELOW AND MAKE SURE THEY ARRIVE SAFE AND SOUND TO THEIR DESTINATION. WHEN I AM ALONE I FEEL AS THOUGH SHE ABANDONED ME AND I HAVE NO CARES IN THE WORLD. WHEN I DROVE HOME TO MY PARENTS I AVERAGED 100 MILES PER HOUR AND YES I DIDN'T CARE IF I GOT STOPPED. I WAS MENTALLY THINKING TRY AND GIVE ME A TICKET WITH THE WAY I FEEL. COMING BACK MY SISTER AND MY NEPHEW WERE FOLLOWING ME SO I WENT THE SPEED LIMIT.

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Here is my response to my latest emails. The only reason I said anything to the boys is because everyone is worried about your health and I need to know if they are in danger or uncomfortable with anything. You have been so out of control, that I couldn't be sure without talking to them. I did not put them in the middle of anything. I need to know that they are safe, plain and simple. And the only reason they would have said anything is if you asked them. I don't have to report to you, but if you must know I am going out with friends from high school. Everyone is coming home for mothers day and I NEVER said you were an alcoholic. Do not ask the boys about my personal life. I don't ask them about yours. That puts them in a bad position and they wouldn't know anything anyway if there was anything to know. I don't go through your caller ID. You have no right going through mine. if you want to ask me something then ask. Like I said when you are able to handle everything we will talk other than that it will only be about the boys.

ROB2211
i'm here for you if you need it

Joeyrose1107
This is an email I sent my ex: I hate to say this but the kids are the only thing weekends are for. School is almost over. Weekends don't mean anything else, now that there is no us. I don't mean to put more on your shoulders or anything. Just speaking my two bits.

ROB2211
Another email to my ex: I would never do anything to harm the boys in anyway, especially when driving. I drive the speed limit and below. When I alone, in the car I become a different person, a very aggressive driver. I think when my sister was following me back, I did not drive out of control or over the speed limit. I will admit to driving too fast when I went out. I am not trying to pressure you into anything, I am just trying to use that as my motivation. I will admit my life is in total turmoil right now, just trying to get answers and everything. I hope this does not upset you. I knew with finishing up school and stuff you had a lot on your plate, and I didn't want to add to it. Sorry for always saying 'honey' and the likes. Force of habit and wishful thinking I guess. I do miss you though, sorry if this upsets you. Again, my motivation to get better.

ROB2211