I hate this
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I wanted to write this down because it's just too weird and I'm trying to analyze it and figure it out in my head. Jon said to me last night that he might want to become an elementary school teacher! You would have to know him to understand how unbelievable this is! I taught for 14 years and quit to be a stay-at-home mom. I let my certification expire and was told I'd have to go through testing to teach again. The stress I've been under lately has made me very apprehensive about the testing and about teaching again. I'd say my confidence level is at an all time low. Okay, so here's my husband, who has NEVER in 21 years of knowing him, EVER said anything about wanting to teach. So I've been letting that sink in some today, still wondering what he could be thinking. Then tonight he tells me he's going to a missions meeting at another church, the one his single friends go to. I asked him about the trip he's interested in and he said they're going to the Dominican Republic. That was where I WENT on a misson trip after we first started dating and it was a life changing experience for me, I might add. So, again, in all our married life the only thing he's said about mission trips is wanting to send our son on one so he could better appreciate what he has here. So what's he up to now??? I hate being so suspicious of him but he's lied to me so much and has had ulterior motives behind his actions for so long that I simply can't trust him.
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That sounds very weird to me, just on the face of it. I don't know him, so I can't really comment further, but what's up with trying to duplicate your experiences at this stage of the game? Did he show alot of interest in those experiences during your marriage?
anne7676
No, Anne, he didn't. When I asked him to leave last January, he said God had suddenly changed his heart and he was sorry for all the wrongs and would never lie to me again. THEN he started becoming more interested in the things I liked, like Christian music which he would always turn off in the car. This may just be a continuation of that but it just strikes me as manipulative (he's really good at that, too).
veeachjay
You know what they say. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. You know him better than anybody. Trust your instincts. Hang in there.
diemjs
I know my ex tried to be such a different person to convince me to go back to him, but his true self always seemed to come out. All I can think of is that I prayed so much about my situation and wanted to be sure that I was doing the right thing and my ex would always do something to confirm that I was in fact doing the right thing. I will be praying for you and I believe that God is always in control and will guide you to do what is best for you. Love and hugs, Debbie
FrmDeb2U
Well, it's past 1 am and Jon's not back from his missions meeting yet. Hmmmm, must have ran a little over time......
veeachjay
I do believe you need to trust your instincts or your intuition. But, then again unless you have real proof he is deceiving you I think it's always better to give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really is trying to change. Just a thought.
christinajeanne
I completely understand the suspicion. Mine came to church for the first time in over 3 months last week, this week he decided not to fight for full custody, and he anonymously paid my cable, internet and phone bill. Of course he should have been doing this all along, but it does make you say "what is he up to?" I, too am hoping it is a spiritual awakening, but I am not counting on it.
momjordi
Is he still living with you? Could he be trying to reach out and understand you better? My other thought is that he is envious of who you are and where you have come from and wants to taste your experiences. Maybe he is just not creative enough to come up with any of his own. If you are on speaking terms, or better yet in therapy, I say open it up for discussion.
SockFuzz
I had a freind who was married to someone very similar to your husband. I spoke to a marriage counselor friend about her husband and I was told that men like this are trying to control you in a manipulative and indirect way by emulating your accomplishments. It's their way of taking away your identity and self-esteem in a more cunning and manipulative manner. These men are abusers with anger issues, and if they cannot control you by hitting you and making you co-dependent to them, they'll do it mentally and psychologically. These are warning signs my friend. I would highly recommend you both to seek marital counseling asap and see someone you can trust at your church like a head Pastor who can be unbiased to your situation with him. I too, would be highly suspicious of his intentions and wonder what his agenda is as well if I was in your situation. You must not rely on him to get better and keep your marriage together if he is not willing to seek help and admit he does have a problem. I will keep you in prayer.
Bijou