Journal Entry for June 30, 2008
June 30, 2008 5:54pm
I do thank all supporters for me while i was trying to stop smoking but due to bad timing on my part and stress in my life i lit a ciggerette and i …
Judds’s Profile
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Judds
is feeling Excellent
i am still on a high, my wife gave birth on 31/5/08 to another beautiful daughter.
About Me
Love spirituality and creativity i adore my wife and four daughters and hopefully the newest pregnancy of the wife will provide me with a son. i also have a passion for poetry and find refuge in it at times.
Interests
computers and anything technical, i love to make short animations with CGI
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Journal
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Journal Entry for February 7, 2008
February 7, 2008 8:36pm
Amongst the darkness came a light, thanks friend for coming back into sight.
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Journal Entry for February 5, 2008
February 5, 2008 8:35am
doing bad i feel so alone again, i make friends and get close but then i think they get bored and move on, i had a fantastic friend on here but …
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Journal Entry for December 15, 2007
December 15, 2007 10:45pm
I am so sorry to have to inform you all that on the 13th December my father lost his battle with cancer and died in the after noon. It has hit me …
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Journal Entry for December 9, 2007
December 9, 2007 9:13pm
Wow what a week i have had, it has been the longest i have stayed away from this site since i joined and to my closest and dearest friends on …
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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*FOREVER~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*HUGS~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*FOR~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*YOU*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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hey there.....I was planning on writing you soon....tomorrow I think. I have been moving and crazy for about 6 weeks. And no internet for 3 weeks. But I am back. I am so glad to hear about your new girlie...congrats. I am pretty bad today....so this is the extent of my message....sorry. I am so glad to hear from you, and lets get back to writing more.....I will start it tomorrow I promise! love to you and the family! AB
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Kidney Stones
I have a 10 year history of an ongoing kidney condition called nephrocalcinosis i am continually requires analgesics for the pain i have no life confined to my house only go out on a electric scooter very depressed , i feel i burden all my family with my needs and i can't play like other fathers do with their children i miss my old me.
Treatments
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Not Working
- no tomatoes or bananas or anything with potassium in no vitamin c,d,e k no salt no tea coffee or pepsi and coca cola man what a crappy diet
- Pain Management Clinic Not Working
- the Dr there are unsure how to treat this disease i have so it is all hit and miss and to be honest really bad for me and the doctors at my consultations as i loose my temper as now getting up to 11 years of this i feel let down by them all.
- Morphine Somewhat Helpful
- I have taken this med for that long now my natural endorphins are probably retired, it does ease the pain somewhat most of the time but as everything it doesn't fully work i am on very high dosages of this now which worries me a lot.
- Surgery Not Working
- I had surgery 5 times on both kidneys, placing of stents and removal, stretching of the urethra kidney stones removed blood clots always present nothing worked so far. have been advised to have transplant.
- Tramadol Not Working
- was on tramadol for 2 years and at first it helped with the chronic pain but i guess i grew immune to it so i was shifted to other medication
Close Chronic Pain
i have a ten year history of kidney problems i now need a transplant i am on morphine all day everyday to easse my pain but it isnt working out well at the minute and as a result i have falling into deep depression
Treatments
- Heat Not Working
- have tried every heat pad ice pad on the market to be honest a water bottle does the same thing or an electric blanket on a bed,
- Marijuana Somewhat Helpful
- this helps me to sleep and try to relax myself as you all well know pain causes tense muscles and pot helps me to rid of it for a while
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- i have recently took up meditation and it does make me feel wonderful at times but again other times is unsuccessful but hopefully with more practise this will change, i am hopeful
- Morphine Somewhat Helpful
- i take a large amount of morphine tablets Oxycontin 80mg 3 times a day i am also on Ora-Morph solution 15ml every hour or hour and half as a break through pain relief plan. But the side effects are killing morale, i am now a manic depressive and have little social life my mobility is restricted to an electric mobility scooter, i can no longer drive as i am always on cloud 9 life couldnt get any worse for me at the mo.
- Oxycodone Not Working
- i was placed on prescription OxyNorm ewwwwwwwwww what a revolting medicine that was i was on 30 mils every 2 hours and all it done really was give me high blood pressure bad head aches and a drowsy state of mind i was taken off it and place on ora morph which to be honest the only difference is the taste. pain still wins over though nothing has yet to eliminate it completely
- TENS Working / Worked
- this can be effective at times but mainly it doesn't do that much
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressioni have fell into a rutt after constant pain and illness over the last 10 years.
Treatments
- Celexa Too Soon to Tell
- not been on these long
- Elavil Working / Worked
- Amitriptyline was given to me to aid my pain relief but it never done much the uses for this drug is amazing it is like a multi task wonder drug.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- works for me at dark times
- Prozac Working / Worked
- had these for a while sent me a bit wacko though and triggered more epileptic fits so the dr changed my prescription.
- Support from Friends & Family Considering
- feeling like the burden on them and sometimes feel suicidal tendencies i hate putting on people but my personal needs are now hugh and my mobility is getting lower i hate this illness i really do i want me back in the mirror not this horrible monster that i have become.
- Writing Working / Worked
- poetry helps me i write a lot of poetry to get things of my chest it helps even though i have shared my problems with pen and paper i have still shared them and i get more gratification this was and less judged
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Snapshot
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