evan173's Journal

I may feel giddy about my new job, but I am really feeling optimistic.  I guess it didn't feel real at first, but I told all the other managers at work and told my staff.  After that, I started on the people I work with the most.  I know there are issues with this job, but it just feels right. 

When I started my current job, I know I was starting into depression and anxiety.  In fact, I think the anxiety is what actually caused me to leave the previous job.  I had so much fear that I would fail at the new job, and I never got over it.  I think some of the personalities at the job at the time also added to the fear, depression, and anxiety.

I got a calendar invite to my first meeting at my new job.  In my current job, the meetings usually freak me out because I go in feeling clueless.  With this meeting, I was like "Cool.  I need to sit down and brainstorm a bit."  I am going from struggling to learn work that I may or may not understand to feeling excited about the possibilities.

Despite the economy, despite the possibilities of lay offs, I am just amazed that I am not worrying.  It is nice to let go of the fear.  I feel like this is a step in my recovery.