34hope's Journal

Well today is Mother's Day and I'm feeling depressed. I ate too much and am feeling fat now. Yesterday I  was cleaning out the room that I'm going to turn into Aidan's playroom and I came across pictures of John. I also came across a couple of journal entries that I wrote early on in the breakup. He is such an asshole. He fucking blamed me for everything. It's a good thing that we are divorced. I hope that if I am lucky enough to get married a second time I will marry someone that if the relationship hits a bump they will be mature enough to try and save it rather than put everything on me. I am not a bad person. My next person that I'm with will be emotional available. Will be mature enough to realize that a relationship is a two way street. The next person will value me.

 Ugh... I hate worrying about money. There is so much that I want to accomplish in my house. I hate being limited by money. There's a lot of hate in this journal. I need to find a happy place. So I'm signing off until tomorrow.