Journal Entry for December 12, 2007
I wanted to apologize to all my friends for not being here more...I tell you I think I am being put through some kind of test I just dont know what …
is feeling Bad
I am a mother of 3 daughters...22..19...16...I am expecting my first grandbaby in July...I have been married for 23 year..I have MS..Well my little grandson is the light of my life he was born on June 24th and he is truly the angel that my daughter needed..I just wish my health was better so I could enjoy him more...
I love to bowl...fish..my husband is my fishing buddy..we take our little boat out and we enjoy ourselves so much...I love to spend time with my kids..I love my faith...
I wanted to apologize to all my friends for not being here more...I tell you I think I am being put through some kind of test I just dont know what …
I know I have not been the best person in the world...or the best mom but I have always tried to be there when I was needed...yes I have given …
To my friends I want to say I havent forgotten you...sometimes I guess I just get so caught up in my problems that I crawl in a hole somewhere...I am …
I dont even know if I have a right to post here anymore...I have been a terrible friend to all my friends here and this morning I think I lost a good …
I just wanted to apologize for my entry yesterday..I have been told it makes no sense and maybe it doesnt sometimes it doesnt to me either..but I am …
I try and keep the peace in my house with everyone and it seems that everytime something goes wrong or something cant be found it is automatically my fault..and I cant handle alot of noise and yelling..I just feel alone alot...
I have lived with chronic pain for over 20 yrs now..at first they would tell me it was all in my head..and then after about 3 drs. one told me I had fibromyalgia..and now I have a nerological problem...I try and keep myself up but sometimes its hard to explain pain to someone who doesnt understand what you are going through...
I have suffered from fibromyalgia for a very long time..every dr. I saw said I was crazy there was nothing there I found a dr. finally about 20yrs ago that figured out what I had..I was on vicodin for a long time until they quit working then my dr. told me he couldnt help me anymore..now my dr. has me on neurontion 3600 mg. a day..and I also have a neurological condition..I wouldnt know how to live if I didnt hurt...
I went in for an operation 3 yrs. ago and the dr. told me you know you have COPD...well I didnt but I knew and know that I smoke..this is the worst thing I have ever tried to quit smoking..my breathing is terrible some days and then there are days that arent that bad...
I worry from the time I get up to the time I go to bed...this will not make sense to anyone but everything has to make sense in my head and it never does..
I am 45 and I have been fighting an eating disorder for a long time ever since I got out of high school..I was a very overweight teen and I remember still today the bad names I was called and how much I got made fun of..I went to the extreme and lost weight too fast and I blame alot of my health problems on me insisting to be small...
A friend made me realize something I am not in denial I am just not accepting this.. right now ...just having a really hard time