Journal Entry for May 1, 2007
My truth is something that I have been hiding for quite some time now. Something I have hidden deep within myself that I alone didnt even know where …

is feeling OK
Im 18 and have been through 5 years of hell. (ask me if you want to know) Believeing in people and sharing my love is what I do. I believe in second chances and giving all you got in the name of friendship. New beginings and harsh challenges are what I live for. Never giving up on people and fighting for someones well being is what Im all about. I love to go out and drink as much as I can. Staying up till six in the morning with anyone who can live up to the challenge. Im quite but loud, intimidating but friendly, honest but loveing, wild but self controled. Change isnt something Im fond of but learning to cope with. I speak what I feel, sometimes getting myself into trouble. Living everyday to the fullest and being lead around this crazy world by my heart, anything else then it just wouldnt be worth it. I havent found who i am yet, but im on my way. I know what I feel in my heart and what I know to be true. Im proud of my morals and beliefs...what I have left of them. I definatley know Im far from perfect but Ive learned to never give up. I love with all my heart to anyone and everyone, because I believe all people are beautiful and are generally good at heart. Ill give all I have to someone I can call my friend and even to those I cant. I live every moment as if there is a chance there could never be another and try never to pass up the chance to tell someone how I feel. I believe letting people know how important they are in the world is imperative and something that should be sang out to the stars. My heart sometimes feels as if it will never heal from the pain and heartache it has come in contact with but the hope it holds helps me go on. I have amazing people in my life that I have been blessed to be with. I have no talent that Im aware of, no ambition or motivation, my purpose here is not yet found and my girft not yet revealed. Love is all I can do, my faith I can never truly let go of, and hope is what I count on daily to get me from one day to the next.
Telling people how important they are to me and how much I love them, writing, listening to music, watching the sunset, partying, haveing fun, sitting at the beach....
My truth is something that I have been hiding for quite some time now. Something I have hidden deep within myself that I alone didnt even know where …
I havent been on in a long time. I really dont think Ive got to friendly with anyone, mabye im too afraid to get close to anyone else just to loose …
Sooo what do you do when you go to a bbq with your two best friends who are boys and who are like brothers to eachother...all night you drink and …
latley things have been so hectic. ive been screwed over by my family every night this week. stranded in santa maria, taken advantage of, last ngith …
well ive been doing super bad. went to san diego for four days and got insanly crazy, well i could have got crazier but i got sick. didnt stop when i …
Reaching out .. in kind caring and support ..
I'm home now. Call me or text me and we should hang out. Have a movie you wanna see? Or maybe lunch or something. Either way we HAVE to this time. It seems like when I am home we don't get to hang out, and when you are in SD we don't get to hang out. So, therefore, WE NEED TO HANG OUT! You are my bestest friend and so yup hanging out is like almost a requirement...Just Joking, lol. Ok, if I dont hear from you I guess I will try and get ahold of you. Love ya! <3 Jewel
Do you want to hang out at some point this week? I will be home until April 1st.
i wanted to send ya some hugs hope you have a gret day.
Love You!
Things bring me down in the worse ways. I feel more for things than anyone around me. The pain and hurt I experience on a daily basis cant be explained. I feel for those around me no matter how they treat me, I put myself on the line, and continue to put myself in harms way believing everyone needs someone and they have some good in them.
I started useing coke after useing meth for three months staright. I stopped for certain reasons and hated coke, then tried it when a best friend promised me and have been useing it since...its been over a year. Trying to stop due to concern of friends, but become weak at every moment. I need to stop, i want to stop, i no longer want it and want to become who i know i can...i just cant break away.
Im 18 and made it through high school a virgin. I believe I should wait till Im married but also have realized that it just scares me to death due to past experiences in my life. I find no interest in it, but much.
Its hard to wake up in the morning. So much goes on on a dialy basis that just makes things seem pointless. Neglectful parents, insane siblings, hatred, abuse, lies, without it my life wouldnt be what it is.
Ive been injured in sports too many times to count. Being little Ive always had accidents easier such as getting my head tranpled for a rebound, but my last two put me out, surgery, and major back injuries.
In a past relationship with older guy who abused me in many different ways. Saw it as a child physically, and was victum of it mentally.
Im extremely tired all the time but never sleep. My mind wanders when the lights go off and everything comes at once. I toss and turn and have horible thoughts and fears, and my anxiety builds up so much I feel I might pass out or throw up.
I grew up everyday being told I was going to grow up to be an alcoholic by my older sister....grow up to be just like my dad. My dad I have been told has been a violent alcoholic for years. I saw the anger many a time and I saw the drinking, and I know how he is when he acts. I turned to drinking at a very young age. A small girl that I am I can now drink as much as my 6 foot 200 pound friend. I often have to drink to make a bad day go away, unless I have something else.
I started cutting when I was very young and just started taking pills. Ive been off and on and hiding them in bball became to apparent. Now all I have are thoughts about it constantly but refuse to take steps back. Im here to help though!
Alcoholic angry and disconnected father, crazy manipulative controlling sister, and a mother who will do anything to keep us to together...my head has been so messed with and Ive witnessed so much in life, I dont know where to start..
I have incredibly bad anxiety. I cant shop in a store without freaking out if soemone comes and asks me a question or stands to close. I get nervoud when I talk to new people or have to be in an occward situation. When I try and sleep is when its the worst, my mind overloads, I cant breathe and I toss and turn out of controlably and begin to shake and become out of control.