deoxyribose's Journal

We had another huge fight, and it was because he felt I wasn't taking him seriously so that mean he could yell at me "I'm sick of your bullshit" take his pillow, slam the bedroom door and go sleep in the other room. I tried to talk to him nicely about what he did, but he just got madder and madder. The next day he started another fight right when I was trying to go to work, I tried to run away and he grabbed my hand so hard he left bruises and then he pushed me into the wall and said "If you try that again I'm going to smash your head in". So I told him I was going to the Woman's Shelter or the Psych Ward to get away from him, and he said no psych ward becuase that would mean I was cazy, which he constantly tells me I am (?) We went to the Woman's shelter together and of course he put a really sweet spin on the the whole fight, like he's trying to do me favors and not that it has anything to do with his low self-esteem, and he didn't meantion the violence and so neither did I beacause I was scared. They referred up to a couples counsellor. I think I need to show him all of these journal entries so he really knows what is going on, becuase when he is there with me I cannot say what I think, I am too scared of him and what he will say or do later when we are alone. I hate my life and I just want to die so I can be free of him.