keepsmiling's Journal

Very hot here today.  First day wearing short pants to work (capris).  Tomorrow is supposed to be hotter.  I will wear my white shorts.  Thank goodness I was blessed with nice long lean legs so no need to be ashamed of about showing them off  

Work is still in full swing.  I'm expecting I'll work into July.  This is an unusually long season.  I'm not really minding it that much.  The vibe there has been somewhat light, friendly and casual.  I want to use my remaining weeks there really focusing on bringing up my speed and accuracy.  This is critical.  If I don't improve in both criteria, then I may not get called back for the 2009 season.  I want to claim my place on the call back list and right now I'm a little vulnerable, so wish me luck!  I will do my best.  I don't know for sure if I'll be going back next year, but I want that opportunity to be there for me.  2009 is the last filing season at my place of work. 

They are closing down september 2009    So unless I find something better I would like to see if I can do one more year there, now that I'm FINALLY starting to get the hang on it.

I had a lovely visit with Pete last weekend.  Sad how quick those times come and go and it leaves me wondering if it ever happened.  We communicate on the instant messenger every day, but it's just not the same as being with him (which is much better) and I get frustrated.  I didn't like his new haircut    He said it wasn't his favorite style either.  I prefer his hair to be longer on the top, and a more rounded shape, not a squared off crew type cut which the last barber gave him.  I love when his hair is longer, because he looks so cute when he wakes up in the morning with bed head, his hair  sticking up all over the place.  "Pete, nice 'do'" I say to him.  "It's more like a 'don't'" he retorts.  But really, he looks so approachable with his hair mussed up.  Kinda gives him that 'let's say in bed all day and have hot sex' look    Unfortunately that's not always a possibility and he must get dressed and slick his hair back the way he likes it for when he goes out or for going to the office.  It kind of gives him a mafia look.   It's not bad, but I still prefer the bed head 

Okay okay, enough about his hair. What can I say.  When you love someone you start loving all those little details about the person in addition to the person himself.  I look forward to seeing him again.  When work is out and his schedule is clear, I 'd like to go down for a longer stretch of 2 or 3 weeks, and spend a couple of days with auntie Sheri while I'm in.  I love summer visits.  Makes it easier to pack light.

Still no more fainting episodes or lightheadedness.  I'm still on the mend from whatever has been afflicting me these past couple of weeks or so.  It started with not getting enough sleep, and then having terrible insomnia, not sleeping at all for about 4 days or 5 days.  This in turn caused so much ringing in  my ears.  The ringing is only NOW starting to go completely away.  Plus I was feeling majorly stressed out, and I had my trip coming up and I was getting nervous about it.  No wonder I passed out.  Too bad I had to pass out at work of all places.  Otherwise things would've been much easier.  Passing can be extremely uncomfortable sometimes, but it doesn't really alarm me so long as I can attribute it to something.  If I had been feeling fine and dandy and then suddenly passed out while walking down the street, THEN I might starting getting a bit concerned. 

Anyhow, things are better. I'm getting some of my strength back, eating better, putting on some weight, which is what I wanted.  I was losing a lot of weight and by the time Pete got me for the weeked I was quite the little lightweight and actually felt kinda weak and vulnerable.  Pete was a good sport and didn't bust me about it.  He took very good care of me, and helped me get my appetite back.  God bless him.  I don't know where things are going between us, but I truly hope that no matter what the circumstances, we will find a way to be together somehow, to continue the relatonship and see it grow and evolve.  Both he and I have some personal growing up to do yet, and I need to work on getting a better control over my anxiety issues.  However, I like to believe that if we really do have a connection, and can stay patient and openminded to each other, and are truly friends, we'll never lose each other.