I am ok today, I have come down …
I am ok today, I have come down with a stupid headcold! and my dh is being a PIA... but internally I am feeling a lot …
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Reality check. Am 27 have no friends that i can meet or do things with. No job. Nada and it is not getting any better regardless what i do because my head is destroyed as is my heart. I want out but God is cruel and decided to take a 15 year old's life (lived in my neighbor hood) instead of mine. Didn't know him but knowing myself he had a far better future then i ever will. Life is just to painful and i don't know why i am alive anymore. I really am starting to ponder this for i cannot see a better tomorrow i simply can't. Im a nut case and who would really want to be around me??? All my friends are gone. The woman I loved left, i tried to meet new people but freaked out so much that i broke down crying and could not take it. Its hopeless it honestly is I died internally long ago i think and i am just waiting for it to end.
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hun, you have me as a friend even if i'm only an online crappy cyber friend lol
talk to me if you need to and i'm so sorry to hear about your neighbour x
Archetype
Oh boy, you are certainly under a LOT of stress. My heart goes out to you. I have been at points in my life when I felt as downtrodden as you do. Suffered awful anxiety and shyness my whole childhood and teenage years. It's been sooo hard for me to get jobs because of anxiety/hearing impairment issues, as well as maintaining relationships and friendships. Please don't ever give up. Remember, just because you're 27 doesn't mean you're supposed to have made certain achievements. We all need to go at different paces. I'm 30 and I still live with my parents! I feel like I'm just barely hanging on to the job I do have, I don't have any friends to hang out with, I don't own a car, I have major phone phobia...I deal with isolation on a regular basis. Some days feel near impossible to get through..but we have to take it one step at a time and try to be as kind to ourselves as possible. Don't compare yourself to others. You have the anxiety demon, as well as dealing with a broken heart over the woman you loved and it's NOT an easy situation for anyone to be in. Don't give up on your future though. You are still very young, and as hard as each day may seem, life still has the potential to be better tomorrow. Hang in there and remember your online friends here at DS.
keepsmiling
Hey, I'm here for you- and I'd come over if I wasn't like 4000 miles away :) You have a right to be here- and don't feel guilty or pressured to prove yourself to the world. All I'll say is throw away your thoughts and doubts for a little while each day and just live. I have moments of total confidence and ease and happiness, and it grows from there.
happyscrewup