fallenshadow's Journal

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME THIS WILL GET BETTER. I AM SO ANGRY AND I FEEL NOTHING BUT THIS ANGER AND DEPRESSION AND SADNESS AND SEEING THE LOOK ON PEOPLES FACES WHEN THEY FIND OUT HOW I FEEL. THEY THINK ITS PATHETIC THAT IM JUST MAKEING IT UP OR SOME THING. IM WRITING THIS IS BOLD BEACUSE I WANT TO SHOUT IT AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE WHICH SEAMS TO FAIL ME. TO DAY IN COLLEGE I TOLD MY TEACHERS I NEED HELP WITH MY ASSIGNMENT AND SHE JUST TOLD ME TO GET ON WITH IT AND IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE I WAS BEING LAZY AT HOME BUT IM NOT I CANT HANDLE IT ANY MORE. AND IM WRITING THIS AND CRING MY EYES OUT LIKE I WAS AFTER SHE TOLD ME. NO ONE EVEN NOTICE THAT I WAS CRING UNTIL I HID BEHIND MY BAG. NO ONE IS EVER GOIN TO MISS ME IF I DIE NO ONE CARE I CANT HANDLE THIS ALL OF THIS I JUST WANT IT OVER.  MY PARENTS WONT THINK I NEED HELP. I ASKED MY MUM FOR HELP AND SHE SAID JUST GET ON WITH IT JUST LIKE MY TEACHER DID. SHE SAID I WAS JUST BEING LAZY. BUT THAT IT IVE HAD ENOUGH I WANT IT ALL OVER I CANT HANDLE IT. NO ONE EVRE WILL GET HOW I FEEL. I FEEL SO ASHAMED BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY LOOK AT ME AND EVEN MORE UPSET BECASUE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MEANTG TO CARE ABOUT ME OR MY FUTURE DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT THEY JUST THINK IM TO LAZY TO NEED HELP. BUT I DO NEED HELP BUT THE WONT HELP ME NO ONE WILL.

I CANT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE ALL OF THIS I JUST WANT IT OVER ALL OF IT.

i dont want to be here anymore i just want to leave. i cant take this.