ellei's Journal

I just came back from Vegas.  I miss my boyfriend.  I wish he came home with me today.  He will not come home until Friday.  I am bored.  When I am bored I eat.  I eat too much and then I am uncomfortable, I feel guilty and I have anxiety.  I am really dreading work tomorrow.  I have a lot of work to do because two people just quit and I have to handle their work loads.  I also have a meeting in the morning so I don't know how I will finish two projects in time for the meeting, then lunch and my supervisor has additional work for me to do and she's the rush rush impatient type.  I can't stand her.  I am worried about money.  I was supposed to have enough to save this month but for some reason I came up short and I'm not exactly sure why.  The cost of gas and food are really taking a chunk of my pay.  I don't have medical or 401k contributions so I don't know where my money is going.  I even lowered my taxes each month because I claim 1 now instead of 0.  I should have more money not less.  I even get paid more per hour than my last job so I don't understand how I am falling so short.  I am depressed and disappointed in myself.  I don't believe I will find permanent work with this company.  I hope at the very least my contract is extended until February.  I hate this.  I feel like I'm not good enough.  I feel like the people I work with think I'm ignorant or that they don't like me or that my personality is awkward.  I feel like something is wrong with me.  I feel like they talk down to me and take advantage of me.  So why do I want to work there?