of my day Damn it I was thinking …
of my day Damn it I was thinking about it earlier and now I lost it. This is driving me nuts.....and when …
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WELL HERE RECENTLY I HAVE DONE ALOT OF THINKING AND LEARNING, NOT ONLY OF MYSELF BUT OF OTHERS IN MY LIFE. I HAVE CAME OT THE CONCLUSION THAT IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE. IM KINDA SCARED CAUSE IVE GROWN TO KNOW AND LOVE MYSELF THE WAY I AM, AND ALWAYSS HAD THE ATTITUDE OF IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THAN YOU CAN F*CK OFF. BUT IT JUST NOW HIT ME THAT I HAVE LOST A GOOD NUMBER OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS TO IT AND I DONT WANT TO ANYMORE. I DONT WANT TO CHANGE FOR THE PEOPLE I LOST, I WANT TO CHANGE FOR THE PEOPLE THAT STUCK BY ME THROUGH IT ALL.
OKAY WELL I HAVE MORE TO ADD TO THIS TOPIC BUT I HAVE TO GO PUT MY SON TO SLEEP. SO I'LL CONTINUE LATER OR TOMMOW
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It's hard to admit that we need to change. I did it the hard way also, but you really know who your friends and family are when you do do this. My story -- I left a very alchoholic and abusive marriage. We are still married but I have not seen him since Dec 2005 and never want to again. What happened...he came back from Iraq as a civilian worker really messed up. He slept all day when I was at work, and wanted to keep me up all night. One day we got together after I got off work. I had a glass of wine, he was already drunk...wanted me to take him somewhere but then frieked out and wanted to drive. No way would I let this happen. He had a walking stick and bashed the windshield. Cracked it good. It was then that I left, and a couple days later moved out after not hearing a word. That was when I knew I had to go. I didn't know what to expect anymore so I just gave up.
Today I am 2.5 years post BMT. I love my Mom and Brother and friends and family near and far who have prayed for me, loved me, and forgave me.
Have a great day, I hope this helps. Be strong, you'll be okay :-)
ohiolaurel