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dairydoll's Journal

Thoughts

Saturday, April 5, 2008 | A Rambling story

I haven't written anything in a while so I thought I would ramble a bit. My head still spins with all that is going on in my life. My mom's death threw me one of life's curves that I was not prepared for. It still affects almost everything I feel and do but I am dealing with it better now. It changed the way that I think about everything in my life. It really brings home how short life is and how quickly this short life can end prematurely.

I won't say that I was materalistic but I had the big house, big car, anything I wanted and was very happy to work hard for all of it. Now, I don't care about any of that. I want the simple, stress free life. I have found there isn't a stress free life. What was I thinking. lol.

One thing I am enjoying right now is clearing my house out of all the things that I don't need or use. It feels good, like I'm lightening the load alittle. You may not have a stress free life but you can simplify your life. Someone else can use all this stuff. Alot of the things are my mom's so it's difficult but they are only things. I kept a few things of sentimental value.

With my stepdad moving to Florida, my husband and I will be living alone. The first time in about 14 or 15 years. I was the lucky one to have my mom and stepdad with us for all those years. It's not easy, two families living in the same house but it worked for us. One reason for the big house so everyone could have their own space. That does help.

New direction for us, this year. I am going to sell the house. Buy a condo, no more worries of yard work or snow shoveling and also look for a place in Florida. I need to look for a job, this 24/7 with the hubby and stepdad is killing me. I am a person that needs my own space and have to do something outside of the house to help fulfill me. I had a stressful job before so I am thinking of doing something in the heath care field. I know that is stressful too but I think I would be a good nurse or nurse assistant or maybe volunteer in hospice or something. As you can see, I lack a little direction in the job area. But I'll find something to do.

I can say thank God for DS. The friends that I have made have helped me so much. I think I have made a few friends here that I will try to stay in contact with. I'm not going anywhere just wanted people to know how important DS friends are.

Rambling is over for today but it felt good just to ramble alittle.

Hug dairy...

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Comments

What you said made me think about some things.One thing is,I worked as an LPN for 30 years and I loved it.The last job I had was Hospice and I had found my calling.It was so sad the things I saw every day,but the reward of going home at night knowing I had made a difference to a lot of people.not only the patients,but their families too.We formed a bond that made me think of them as family,and they me.It's been over a year since my accident that ended my career,but theres one family member still calls and checks on me.But don't hope to go there and work or volunteer,and go home stress free.It's just the opposite,just a rewarding sort of stress!I have a friend on here now whose mother has cancer,we've been in close contact the last few hours,as she has to get her mom back to the hospital and she's worried.her name is angelspring if you would like to give her a hug,i'm sure she'd appreciate it.xxoo

babysit
Thank you for sharing your experience. Thank you for commenting. These days sometimes I feel alone on here. I appreciate everything you said. I know you were a good nurse because you have such a good heart. The hospice idea for me might me a good option. I won't mind the stress if it's rewarding. I'm like you, I want to make a difference. I have also thought about nursing homes. I know when my grandmother was in one there were so many people there that didn't get any visitors. It's like their family dropped them off and left them and then forgot about them. I went to see my grandmother almost everyday so I saw them and know how many of them must have felt that no one cared. I will give angelspring a hug. You are such a good friend.

dairydoll