dairydoll's Journal

Wow, it's been a while since I have written anything here. Time goes by so fast.  I am doing much better now. Somedays and moments are still hard for me. To say time heals is not an accurate statement but time does help you cope with your different life. I am fast approaching the one year anniversary of my mom's death and here lately I have been thinking of what we were all doing this time last year and they are not pleasant memories at all. I can't believe it will soon be a year. So many things have changed in my life this past year since mom's death. My stepfather moved to Florida. My husband and I have the house to ourselves and it's different because we haven't lived alone for along time. I am not on DS as much as I use to be. I've found some of my friends are not on here very much anymore. I keep checking, especially the Pancreatic Cancer group because I always contact new people to see if I can help or just listen to them. I remember when I joined DS and people reached out to me, it really helped me. I have made a few really good friends here and some I know that I will be in contact with the rest of my life and some may be just passing through but they are all wonderful people. I feel very fortunate to have met all of you. I wish us all peace and a sense of well being. I don't think I have either one of those yet but I hope they will come in time. Losing someone you love and for me especially my mother comes with so much hurt and pain and loneliness and tears. You think no one can possibly understand what you are going through but I found some people on here who did and Thank God for you. I'm sick and tired of people telling me ( not DS people) that it has been long enough and I should be over  it by now and back to normal! I feel like telling them F_ _ _ You because you don't know what you are talking about and leave me alone! I know better than anyone that I have to go on and life continues, but allow me to do it in my own time not theirs! I can tell the one year anniversary is going to be pretty hard but I will be ok. Just let me cry if I want to cry and be sad if I want to be sad. I know that my friends here know what I am talking about. Well, just felt like letting it out alittle. Thanks to all my DS friends for listening. Love you all, Debbie