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Today is just another sad day. I miss my daughter and I don't want to live without her anymore. It's too hard for me. If I could just see her once more and touch her to let her know how much I miss her. To see her smile again and hug her and laugh with her. To feel her warm embrace, and for it to be like it used to be.
It's spring, I look at all the life around me, and its all nothing to me without her. It might as well always be winter, because thats the way I feel in my heart, bitter and cold. It isn't fair, why didn't God take aways someone who was bad, and doesn't deserve to live. A murderer, or a molester, not someone who is good and loving.
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I keep expecting things to get better, but it never does. I was hoping after my book came out, things would change for me. It did make me extreamly happy for awhile, but it doen't anymore
I don't know what to do, I just know that I am terribly unhappy in my life and I hate being here without my daughter, I know nothing can ever change that.
The Night The Angels Came
I wish I could have been there,
the night the angels came
They took you far away for me,
I'll never be the same.
Did they take your hand in theirs,
and help you with the pain?
I wish I could have been there,
The night the angels came.
Now my heart is broken,
And my teardrops fall like rain
I wish I could have been there
The night the angels came.
Linda
Stacysmom
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dear lady, i can understand your feelings. i know that what we have here is only temporary and fleeting. please don't expect yourself to be somewhere in your life that you aren't. we must give ourselves the time to greive .... no matter how long it takes. "better" i really am not too sure that i like that word any more. know that i am here if you need me. love you! ~~ charlayne
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Thank you, what you say is true. Maybe for some people it never gets better, I just have to give it more time I guess.
Thanks for for being here for me, I like that.
Linda
Stacysmom
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I completely agree with Charlayne! I don't think there is a word to describe what we become when the grief isn't so raw. But "better" is not it! I do love your poem though. Big hugs to you, Barbara
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There should be a word that describes the they way we have become. It's kind of like being a zombie, we just exist, go through the motions to get through each day.
I can't remember if I told you all, but I wrote a book of poems to my daughter Stacy. It was published in February. It's called "The Night the Angels Came"
It is availble at www.PublishAmerica.com www.Amazon.com www.bn.com (Barnes & Nobel). Go to books and/or search and type in The Night the Angels came
I am curently working on a second book. It is an autobiography, and is about all the tragic losses in my life, and how it has affected me. It's called "Seasons of Sorrow".
Thanks for listening to me, and I want you to know I'm thinking of you all.
Linda
Stacysmom
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Hey Hon, really nice poem. I started blogging the story of my life, I'm doing it so my remaining children have the record. I tell them all my crazy stories but I'm sure they've forgotten half of it, or maybe think I just made something up to "trick" them into behaving the way I want. All those things that happen in one's life can be an easy lesson for others if they just hear it. You go writer girl!
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Thanks rememberme,
I'm glad to hear you are writing them down. Not only will you have a record of them, but I think it is good to look back and remember some things.
I wish you luck in whatever you do.
Hugs,
Linda
Stacysmom
It never gets any easier for me. It has been almost 2 years now since I lost my daughter, I can't imagine living the rest of my life without her
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so sorry for your loss cant imagine the hurt that would be. thinking about you and wishing the best.
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Thank you for your kind words.
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i am so very sorry for your loss . cant imagine the hurt . ive lost parnts siblings hubby and lots of other family but cant imagine loosing one of my kids.god bless
oh honey, i don't believe God took Stacy. and as much as we wished it was a bad person, they still have a mother too that would miss them. so it is a no win situation. i have pretty much think and feel the same you do. but we go on and we keep trying to make it through each day. please know that you aren't alone. love you! ~~ charlayne
Charlayne
I agree, why doesn't God take the bad ones...but he doesn't, he just watches it all happen. Nobody said life is fair. We have to finish living the plan we made with God in spirit. It sucks doesn't it? But we have to do it. Peace to you.
rememberme
You are right about that, we do have to finish living the plan weather we want to or not. You are right too Charlayne, the bad person would be going through what we are. No matter what, no one comes out the winner here.
Hugs,
Linda
Stacysmom
Stacysmom
My daughter's headstone was just installed, and I went to see it. Its beautiful, and it was very emotional for me. A friend of mine Marlene, was with me and she held my hand and said the Lords Prayer. I told Stacy how much I missed her and loved her.
Marlene told her, I know you are at peace and not suffering anymore. Just at that moment, a leaf dropped off the flowers I had put in the vase. It was as if she was telling us she was ok and was happy.
If I remember how, I will put a picture of it on here so everyone can see it
Hugs,
Stacysmom
Stacysmom