Journal Entry for July 1, 2008
July 1, 2008 1:14pm
MY ENTIRE HOUSE SMELLS LIKE PINESOL...HOPE JESSICA'S SOCIAL WORKER DOESN'T HATE THAT SMELL....BUT ITS YUMMY TO ME!
I HAVE BEEN PANIC …
hopelesslyinsane’s Profile
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About Me
I am 39 years young. I have four kids, amanda 18 jonathan 16 jessica 15 and andrew 11. They obviously keep me busy. I have BP1 and am a rapid cycler, but i tend to stay on the depressed side of the pole more than not. I live in a small town. We don't even have a stop light! I love to write poetry and I am working on a book about my husband and how he died two years ago. I hate being a widow and am very lonely. I feel cheated by God for taking him away from me...May 31st would have made 20 years we were married. I am a good person with a big heart but I am easily taken advantage of. I am an isolator, so if you don't hear from me for a while...i am usually in a crisis. I love DS and the friends i have made here. So thats about it.
Interests
writing poetry trying to write a book but with rapid cycling it is really hard. i love my dog JUJU and honestly have no life other than being a mom.
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Recent Activity
July 8
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hopelesslyinsane gave crazybetty a Hug 6:29pm
i love you!!!!! great big cyber hug for you…
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hopelesslyinsane commented on crazybetty’s journal entry Journal Entry for July 7, 2008 6:27pm
i feel the same way hon...please, lets both try to be strong together...i love you…
June 28
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hopelesslyinsane gave crazybetty a Hug 8:28am
hi honey, my computer is broke and my self phone only except call to me and i am sooooo agrivated...i…
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hopelesslyinsane gave Lola694 a Hug 8:25am
hi hon, its been a rocky week. I am stil sick from asthma and can't do much, so my house looks like a…
June 24
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hopelesslyinsane gave Lola694 a Hug 1:56pm
its just so many bad things have happened over the last couple of months. i feel God is punishing me…
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Journal
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Hugbook
Hug
Just wanted to let you know, that Prozac can make you have worse suicidal thoughts. I use to take it, but now am off it. Hugs to you. Glad to see you online again.
Hug
how have you been?
Hug
you need a big HUG right now, my heart goes out to you, im so sorry you feel like shit but hang in there, people need and love you very much.
Flower
You're such a Sweet & Lovey person...Hope your days get Brighter!Love Ya Hun! :0) Bobby
I’m With You
HUGS AND HOPE U KNOW HERE IF U NEED ME...HUGS
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
How do you make a very long story short? hmm...I have bp1, had about 10 hospitalizations for suicide attempts, depression, anxiety and an ED. I am now disabled, widowed, lonely and unmedicatedfor a few months, ended up in the hospital in october this year ...i am slipping...dying...the cycling is killing me most of all. Hopefully i will stabalize before i mess that up to. but now...i found you guys! lifes not so bad :)
Treatments
- Abilify Too Soon to Tell
- it doesnt make me feel any better so far
- Ativan Working / Worked
- this was a nice quick fix for my anxiety, but I have overdosed so many times they wont give it to me anymore unless i am in the hospital
- Celexa Not Working
- didnt work and doc. took me off it
- Depakote Working / Worked
- this worked well on my moods for the most part but I had to come off of it due to terrible tremors
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- when i am properly medicated, otherwise its to much to take in
- Geodon Working / Worked
- was helpful, but taken off after a few months by doc.
- Group Therapy Considering
- i tend to shut down when i am talking about me, but do well helping others
- Haldol Working / Worked
- was on this for about a year, then off...then put back on and had a horrible side effect and ended up in the er with annophaloctic shock...not good for me!
- Lamictal Too Soon to Tell
- Seroquel Somewhat Helpful
- but I hate the weight gain
- Tegretol Too Soon to Tell
- Thorazine Somewhat Helpful
- potent and knocks me out if i take with sleep meds
- Trileptal Working / Worked
- this is the one drug that stabalizes my moods but i can no longer afford it :(
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