breakXmeXdownx’s Profile

Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

I don't want to talk about it.

Treatments

Art Working / Worked

Forgiveness Somewhat Helpful

Leave Too Soon to Tell

I'm gonna leave early to get away. I hope it helps, I really do.

Music Working / Worked

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

Talking Working / Worked

It would work....just need the right person to talk to.

Open Bereavement - Teens

He's just dead to me.

Treatments

Keeping Busy Not Working

Theres no point in forgetting.

Music Working / Worked

Remembering Considering

Scrapbooking Too Soon to Tell

Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked

Talking Working / Worked

No one talks to me about it.

Time Working / Worked

Open Bisexuality

I'm bi. Sexually more attracted to girls, emotionally more attracted to guys. Been with 2 girls, more guys.

Open Depression - Teen

The right people leave me, the wrong people stay. I'm too afraid to speak up for myself, so I guess I just watch it happen. It kills me.

Treatments

Art Working / Worked

Lexapro Too Soon to Tell

Positive Thinking Not Working

jinx.

Support from Friends & Family Not Working

I don't want to be a burden.

Talking Not Working

All I can do is write and hope someone reads it. I can't really talk about it.

Writing Working / Worked

Open Eating Disorders

I was made fun of at one point for having anorexia and bulimia, so I started diet pills as well. I'm probably getting better. No hospital trips yet.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

Open Shyness

I've been getting better...but it comes on strong at the worst points...if I'm with someone I really care about, I just can't talk. I seem ridiculous and I can't help it.

Treatments

Self-esteem Somewhat Helpful

I need someone to help me. I tried on my own and it hasn't worked.

Self-help Considering

depends on mood and who I'm with, really.

Socializing Working / Worked

good influences.

Open Diets & Weight Maintenance

used to be anorexic, bulimic, and diet pills, all at the same time. more recently I've been gaining weight, and I can't stop myself.

Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide

me. Many times. Maybe it'll finally work.

Treatments

Patience Not Working

things seriously only got worse.

Talking Not Working

No one will talk to me about it. Or anything.

Writing Working / Worked

Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)

I'm a teenager, just wanted to see parent's opinions

Open Dizziness & Vertigo

We're not sure what it is yet. I can barley hold my head up sometimes, and sometimes it just lets itself go on its own. Sometimes I can't stand up.

Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)

Only my eyelashes now. The bottom ones are almost completely gone. sometimes scalp.

Open Alcoholism

1 hospital trip. Unusual.

Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

just....my parents don't believe me. no one really does, but its there. it really is.

Open Phobia

I have a huge, huge fear of rejection. Its impossible for me to defeat. Its...even happened a lot to me before. Its scares me. And I'm scared of spiders. A lot.

Treatments

Acceptance Working / Worked

The only real cure.

Open Abstinence & Celibacy

well now I just feel like an idiot. but I can't leave this community yet. I need to remind myself of my hypocritical-ness.

Open Family Issues

a lot of fights. too many.

Treatments

Music Working / Worked

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

its all she talks about, my therapist

Talking Working / Worked

if someone talked to me....

Writing Working / Worked

poetry

Open Stress Management

I need to learn how to handle things...I break down at the wrong times, and I'm sick from stress.

Treatments

Music Working / Worked

Patience Working / Worked

Open Peptic Ulcers

I got it from worrying about a lot of things, I was put on prevacid and pepcid, and I've gotten a scope. The results aren't back yet

Treatments

Pepcid Somewhat Helpful

Only helps sometimes

Prevacid Somewhat Helpful

I don't cough up anything or any blood when I'm on it, but I can get some sharp pains.

Open Teen Anxiety

just stress in general from school and relationships...its gotten me sick and out of control.

Open Sexual Abuse

my aunt....I think she tried doing something when I was around 7 when I was about to take a shower...its hard to date people partially for this reason....

Treatments

Music Working / Worked

I don't think about it often, just when I'm asked to hook up. which isn't often. Music helps me forget again.

Talking Considering

No ones tried it. But a few friends know, they don't really care and I don't expect them to.

Open Hyperlexia

I don't know what to say...its a huge problem I have I guess, but the doctor recommended not to put it on my records, so it gets harder.

Open Coming Out

I'm bi....its easy to tell people at school, especially because right now I'm really sure of it...but telling my parents...I just can't do that.

Open Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD)

not sure, really...they found cysts on my kidney, but I need to go back a few times, my dad has a problem with this, too.

Open Family & Friends of Bipolar

my ex best friend is bipolar, and this other girl I know claims she has a problem with it...

Open Asthma

I have bronchial spasms and asthma and need a couple inhalers....it might be worse or better. We don't know.

Treatments

Pulmicort Somewhat Helpful

Take it in the mornings. It helps at the moment, sometimes, but it doesn't get rid of the breathing panic attacks.

Xopenex Somewhat Helpful

its an inhaler. it doesn't work until a little while after I inhale it. supposedly I can't take it for 4 more hours, but I need it more between that period of time. but if I take it more within that time, my heart beat will get faster. easy overdoseage.

Open Family & Friends of Cancer Patients

the father of my ex neighbor and what we consider to be our family was diagnosed with multiple Miloma, I think thats it. He lives in New Hampshire, but since early October he's had to go to Arkansas for treatment. He's the best man in this world.

Open Self-Injury

it hurts.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Not Working

It just doesn't help me.

Rubber Bands Somewhat Helpful

That kind of pain scares me. Its weird, but it just does.

Talking Somewhat Helpful

Usually just makes me feel worse, though no one really knows about it that cares a lot.

Open Panic Attacks

It just...comes out of nowhere, usually. Sometimes I'll be thinking of something, and out of no where I'll feel smothered, hollow and lost, like I'm being slowly killed and falling. Then I'll have the most violent attacks ever. I'll shake and my legs will kick and my arms will move literally everywhere until I can grab hold of something and keep that grip. It usually lasts no longer than 5 seconds. When its over, I hyperventilate. It happens usually 2-3 times, I know its gonna seriously hurt me.

Open Internet Addiction

I've avoided joining this community for a while, but I know its something that affects me. The computer for me is an escape, mostly from my family. I don't like being forced to be around them. I don't like hearing them fight. I don't like being around when theres too much to take. I'm an independent person and I express a lot of creativity and give and take advice. I need this, its my only escape. It keeps me busier than music can, and it helps me mature more. I need this.

Open Depression Supporters

I've been through a lot, more than I'll probably ever tell anyone, and I know there are people that have it way worse. I can't even imagine how bad that must be, and I'd do anything just to make sure that they'll be okay. I want to help the people around me, but they don't know that I'm here for them. I'm trying everything. I want to help people and hopefully save their lives. I don't want people feeling alone at all, it's very hard.

Treatments

Crying Somewhat Helpful

Music Working / Worked

great for letting out emotions, at least for me.

Patience Somewhat Helpful

Talking Working / Worked

I'll help anyone thats willing to vent to me, no ones really done that with me until I joined this site, and I know it's hard to deal with.

Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depression

I guess I learned some life lessons way too early. Ive felt the worst things at incredibly young ages. There were some people that I thought I just couldn't live without. I had begged them all not to leave me. But every single one so far that I begged left. I no longer know how to talk about my problems with anyone, Ive held everything in for so long people have tried helping, but I was very scared that theyd leave, and that Id be wasting their time. It really does hurt me. More than most know.

Treatments

Lexapro Too Soon to Tell

Meditation Not Working

my OCD and paranoia get in the way.

Positive Thinking Not Working

jinx.

Psychotherapy Considering

I can't open up. I'm too scared. It just isn't working for me.

Support from Friends & Family Not Working

I'm too scared to open up to them. Some of them really try to get me to, but I just can't. I'm afraid that they'll think I'm complaining, or that somethings wrong with me. I don't want people talking behind my back. And I'm so scared that they'll leave me, so at risk of getting hurt I hold a lot of it in.

Writing Somewhat Helpful

I sometimes write poetry, and these journal entries. The journal entries are my only form at talking about my problems, honestly.

Open Insomnia

"Days, you say they're way too long. But your nights, you can't sleep at all. Hold on." Good Charlotte. Not a good band.

Treatments

Counting Sheep Working / Worked

just count numbers, don't let myself make it past 17 or I'll start over.

Music Working / Worked

very helpful, calms me down.

Reading Working / Worked

Open Epilepsy & Seizures

They started off as violent panic attacks. One night I went to the hospital and we asked the doctor about what this all could be. He said they were panic attacks, but it was dangerously close to a seizure. He suggested that some of them were not panic attacks but were seizures.

Open Separation Anxiety

I can't be away from people I love for long at all. I start crying after about an hour. It tears me apart sometimes.

Treatments

Music Working / Worked

keeps me thinking. keeps me motivated.

Open Healthy Relationships

I'm not in a healthy relationship, but thats my own fault. I'm codependent and I know just the right way to fuck things up because of that. I want a healthy relationship, so badly. I'm in a great relationship, and I am in love with him. But because I fucked up we can't see eachother. I want to change.

Treatments

Patience Not Working

I can't wait on my own.

Talking Too Soon to Tell

No one talks enough about it.

Writing Somewhat Helpful

It would help if he read some of them, but part of me would never want that. I can't decide.

Open Personality Disorders
Type: Dependent Personality Disorder

Just....a couple different disorders.

Treatments

Talking Somewhat Helpful

I write. It's hard for me to talk face to face with people.

Open Coma

In the 8th grade I overdosed right before school. I realized something was wrong and barely made it to the nurse. I could barely speak, I was unaware of my surroundings when I was awake. The nurses have to wake you up after class is over which is 45 minutes For 2 hours they couldnt wake me up While I was out, I was aware of my surroundings-I could hear the classes change, I could hear the nurses calling my mom. I could see the chair and the wall in front of me. But for a while I couldnt wake up.

Open Schizophrenia

I hear things sometimes. When I was younger I would see faces. I could swear that some of my dreams are reality, but I have been proven wrong. It's not a very huge problem, but it's still there.

Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I have flashbacks all the time. To the moments that made me decide my previous suicide attempts. To the beginning of my hospital trip due to alchohol intoxication and the aftermath of it. I can no longer sleep a whole night through. I wake up at least once and can't fall asleep for at least half an hour, sometimes I get flashbacks then too. The flashbacks are horrible. I can feel the feeling I had at the moment back then, only it's worse during the flashbacks.

Treatments

Music Somewhat Helpful

helps me forget a lot of the time.

Talking Working / Worked

I kinda keep quiet about these types of things. Or at least, I try to.

Open Breakups & Divorce

I'm scared.

Treatments

Love Working / Worked

Open Restless Legs Syndrome

I get such a weird sensation. I need to walk, kick, jump, run, anything. It doesn't go away for about 40 minutes, though I don't get it often.

Treatments

Lexapro Working / Worked