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maureenD's Journal

Journal Entry for February 18, 2008 Mood

Monday, February 18, 2008

My most difficult task in life is balancing anything with work. I take it so seriously, so personally, i always have. I love my job, and have always thought of it as my life. Well life has changed a bit, now Jack is my life! I love every second i can spend with him, and hate when it gets late in the day and bedtime is coming, because i feel like i'll miss him too much.

Unfortunately my maternity is almost over, and i've begun working again parttime until after Easter when i go back full time. I am already struggling with the transition. i've been at work twice already and neither day were good. I miss Jack, and am not enjoying my job.

I don't feel like work was done the way i would have done it while i was gone, i don't feel like i am getting the respect i worked so hard to achieve before i left, people are treating me as though i might as well stay home. i heard nothing but complaints from my participants this weekend, and i get frustrated because that reflects poorly on me. I have a new boss that started the day i had Jack, so i'm nervous about how he will see me and what i am capable of once i return...i am just not happy.

Again i say work has always been my life so its hard for me to see others doing my work, not my way, which i was very specific leaving behind clear instructions on what to do while i was away. it disappoints me to see that they disregarded that, and made their own decisions that i will now have to fix...grr!!

So now i am struggling with being unhappy at work, frustrated with my co-workers, discouraged about all of it, and on top of it all missing my baby, i feel more depressed now than i ever could in the whole "baby blues" time!

So my goal is to try to get back into the swing of things! Vent to anyone who will listen to help keep from bottling up my emotions. Attempt to communicate to those i work with to reestablish control of my job, and make a good impression on the new boss, while fixing all the messes. As well as ask for help with Jack, help with work, and being willing to admit that i can't control the world. That i need help once in a while and that i have to leave the past in the past and just move on from this point.

It's going to be hard, but i'll do what i can, i need all the support i can get, and would appreciate any advice you may have.

Thanks for reading my rant. And for the support! i'm going to go hold my baby, and take a deep breath in! ( :

UPDATED GOALS

Balance work and Jack

Progress 5%

Encouragements: 0

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Comments

I am praying for you. I am dreading go back to work in about 3 weeks. I also loved my job, but now I could careless to go back. I am counting down the next year and a half until my dh finishes grad school.

nicunurse
I am going back to work in 4 weeks and I am definitely scared about leaving my boys. I have done it before w/ my oldest, but it definitely doesn't get any easier. As for the job, just try to take it one day at a time. When I went back to work after my oldest, it was a HUGE transition. Things had changed while I was gone and I almost feel like I lost a lot of my seniority while I was out. Just remind them how much of an assett you are to the company through your work. My prayers are with you that things get better!

atlmommy
I had my 3rd son Dec. 30, and I go back to work Monday. I'm not completely dreading it. I am blessed to love my job (most of the time) and I know my daycare provider from my other 2 boys. However, I'm feeling overwhelmed and wondering how I'm going to keep up with everything! Anyway, hang in there. I know you can make a good adjustment and learn to balance things.

cherbear74
I will keep u in my prayers. I couldnt imagine having to leave Jordan every day, I know I have to go back sometime though. Just not sure when...Hugs to u

needhope