ths574's Journal

A while back, just after I separated from my wife, I took my daughters to the MDA clinic for their yearly visit. I discussed the current situation with the doctor. My wife had been to jail a few times for prescription fraud and was refusing to go to rehab, the girls and I  were having a rough time with all of that going on. She told me that she was glad that I was taking care of everything at home and seeking support when I needed it but she wanted to talk to me about the girls. She evaluated them as she did every year and wanted to know what I thought of their condition. I told her that I saw no effects of MD in their every day lives. She told me that she had never seen any real indication of MD in any of their evaluations but had allowed them to continue because of their mother's insistance that they have the disease. I was so happy to find out that they did not have Muscular Dystrophy that I could barely contain myself. My oldest daughter was unphased by the news because she knew that it was not a problem for her. My youngest is still refusing to accept the news since her mother insists that she does have it. My wife's sister has limb girdle muscular dystrophy and my wife used that fact several years ago to get a regular prescription for pain medicine for herself by insisting that she has the same disease and that it causes her a lot of pain. Limb girdle does not cause pain, only weakness. It is a progressive disease and it causes muscle stricture and lack of joint mobility, particularly in the hips and shoulders. It gives those affected the appearance of being bound at the affected areas.

I am very concerned with my youngest daughter's reaction. I am writing about this because my youngest brought it up again last night and wanted me to agree that she has it. My wife won't tell her that she doesn't have it and my daughter wants so badly to be with her mother that I think she would do or say anything. I just wish that my wife would put the girls before herself. She is so selfish but she insists that she is just loving us. I really feel like she won't admit to not having the disease because it would be admitting that the drug problem has been around for much longer than she is willing to admit. I think that it is this selfish fear that keeps her from admitting that her daughter's don't have it either. I just wish that I could fix everything but I can't and that is frustrating. I want the best for my daughters. I even want the best for my wife.