HopefulInOhio's Journal

Still adjusting to the new job - busy, busy place. Slowly getting to know everyone bit by bit. Lots to learn about patient intake/flow/medical issues. I'm learning that the general public can be ruder than they should be concerning a doctor's visit. When you're asked to fill out a general update form, don't look at the girls behind the administration desk like they've just asked you to pull out your own tooth..lol..it's a formality for medical records and to make sure the correct insurance/medicaid is being billed properly. We don't do it because we enjoy it.....;)

I'm also finding out that working in an environment with individuals with terminal illnesses is very hard to watch sometimes. I see the couples coming in together and feel how much they care for one another. I also see and hear my co-workers talk of their marriages and relationships and most of them seem very happy. My social anxiety is at an all time high during times when all the girls are together, talking of their husbands and small children. I can't join the conversation much and feel a little out of sorts - and it's made me feel very lonely at times.

I guess all in all I've been feeling the lonliness a lot lately. Maybe because spring is around the corner - always seems like a time of promise. I just wish I had the strength to feel stronger on my own 2 feet so when the day comes that I feel ready for a relationship that it's an easy, but slow pace to get it. I'm harder on myself than any other person in my life has ever been - and I'm trying hard to not be this way. It's hard to change a pattern you've always been in - but I'm sure gonna try.