Gone
Had a phone call last night, a friend of mine I met in rehab 8 years ago took his own life sometime last week. Been …
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I have just got back from my holiday to Cornwall, England. We had a nice time on the whole but I found some aspects of the holiday hard and bits of it really bad. I got myself in such a state I felt like walking away from it all, family and everything. I had felt increasingly stressed throughout the week and the worst bit came when my poor husband was ill on Friday night, not his fault at all, but because he vomited I freaked out.... long after he was feeling better I was still shaking in the childrens room unable to even approach him to make sure he was OK. I felt like a complete s..t, he was ill and all I could do was shake and feel like running away. It did occur to me that what I was feeling at that time was total fear... so, I need to concentrate on this when I next go into counselling... I don't know how I can be so selfish and treat someone I adore so badly. I really feel like I don't deserve him at all, he puts up with so much and all I do is run away when he needs me...
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