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Journal Entry for October 18, 2007 Mood
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I made a big mistake today and weighed myself. I have been trying not to, I want to just be able to eat a normal diet, no binging, no starving -just 3 simple, smallish meals a day. I hope that if I do that I will get my metabolism sorted so that I can stabalise my weight and forget about it. The trouble is that inevitably I will put on a bit of weight to begin with... my body has been used to have a massive binge everyother day and nothing in between, so I guess it's in a bit of shock now it's getting more food and its storing it away like mad. So the scales put me at 11 st 7 lbs (161 lbs) and I feel like a huge, great fat lump of lard......... I haven't made it to the gym this week because I am so busy preparing for my holiday, writting my essay, orgainisng a fundraising event for my local church. I feel like I want to starve again, my head is saying "if you don't eat for a few days you will lose the weight and everything will be OK". I know this isn't right. All I will lose is water, the fat will still be there. The only way I could lose the fat is to wait a bit, eat normally and then when my body is functioning properly maybe sensibly cut down the calories and lose 1lb a week. It is so hard, you think you are getting everything sorted and then wham... kick in the teeth again.
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Comments

  1. seacow

    every day is a struggle. stay strong and push those thoughts to the back of your mind...long term healthy relationships with food are the prize and successes! take care!


    seacow

  2. cowboy357

    what's wrong with 161 lbs? please eat everyday, at least 2 meals a day


    cowboy357

  3. PixieW

    I guess it depends on how tall you are. On some people, this weight wouldn't be bad at all. Does you dr. say you need to lose? In any case, slow and steady is the best way.


    PixieW

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