QuackedUp's Journal

 Do you ever feel "Lost"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvNSI4-PV8s

I feel like DS is the place that keeps us from getting "Lost" 

 This was a myspace blog I wrote back on 1 May.  I thought i'd share with all of you.  Enjoy!

Dooder Rooder 

How yall doin?   It's been awhile since I've wrote anything.  A lot has gone on.

I finally saw the new shrink this week down in Santa Barbara.  Recieved some new medications for my bipolar 2 disorder.  A mood stabilizer to help control my moods.  Yippee!  FINALLY!

So my date of separation is still 31 July 2008.  I'm still thinking about getting out.  Which got me to thinking..."What am I gonna do when I do get out?"

If I didn't suffer from social anxiety disorder so bad, I'd probably be a stand-up comedian.

Wouldn't that be funny?  Me standing in front of a large crowd of people calling myself a a comedian.

I do have a few ideas though.

I'm working on a couple of CD's

The difficult part is trying to come up with names for my CD.  But here's a few I'm thinking about:

"Where's My Meds?!"
"Dooder Rooder"
"Shut The Fuck Up!"
"Punch 'Em In Da Face!"

Now I know what you are thinking..."Dooder Rooder"?  What the fuck does that mean?

Well like Larry the Cable guy has "Git-R-Done" I figured I need a catch phrase.  I like saying Dooder Rooder.  It just feels good and tickles my fancy.  I'm still trying to figure out what a fancy is but...Dooder Rooder!

C'mon say it with me...

Dooder Rooder

Dooder Rooder

Dooder Rooder

Now there, don't you feel better?  I do.  Say it one more time!  Dooder Rooder!

Just think...instead of the nation saying "git-r-done", we'll have the nation calling each other Dooder Rooder

Welcome to Dooder Rooder Nation!

Even Raider Nation will want to be part of the Dooder Rooder Nation!

Anyways, what's been bothering me lately and is one of the reasons I want to get out of the air AF is how bass akwards the military likes to do things.

Let me give you a visual...

Now, if I want a blow job I'll just pull down my pants and say "Give me a blow job".  Simple enough right?

Hell, if it's good enough for a former Commander in Chief, why not the rest of us?!

Dooder Rooder!

Now here is the military's way of getting a blow job...

First, you have to fill out a form and draft a position paper justifying the manning to get a blow job.  Budget cuts are a bitch. Make sure your ass doesn't forget a cover sheet (routing slip) either!

Then it takes a week for the first draft to go through the chain of command.  It comes back for you to reaccomplilsh because you had only one space after the period of each sentence instead of two.

So you fix that, route it back up and the chain has to change happy to glad back and forth like 5 times.  Or in this case blow job to head to oral sex to oral intercourse.  The Colonel finally gets it and settles on blow job.   Fuck!  

Finally, 3 weeks & 3 days, 23 pieces of paper, 2 paper jams in the copier and 10 follow-up phone calls later, you get your request back approved.

You go find a dumb E-1 or E-2 to perform the "dirty work".  

While she is pulling down your zipper with her teeth the First Sergeant stops her.  She's not doing it according to military regulations which require all zippers to be unzipped by hand.

Instead of On-The-Job Training (OJT), you have to send her on a 3-week TDY for "field" training in Montgomery, Alabama.

Six weeks & 3 days, 45 pieces of paper, TDY orders, an outprocessing checklist, Government Travel Card later,  you finally get your blow job!

A 10-minute job, 2 1/2-min in my case, takes the military 6 1/2 weeks.  Fuck an "A"!

When she's finished you slap her on the ass or punch her in the face and say thanks, Dooder Rooder!

Thank you all, you've been a great audience.  Good night, I'm out!  Dooder Rooder!

...It Ain't Easy